Journey Back to Me

Chapter 10

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS IS A MUCH LONGER CHAPTER THAN NORMAL, DUE TO THE FACT THAT MICHELLE IS GOING DEEP INTO A MEMORY INVOLVING A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE. TW TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT. IT DOESN'T GO INTO THAT PART UNTIL AFTER MICHELLE GETS TO THE THERAPIST'S OFFICE, SO THE FIRST HALF OF THE CHAPTER IS OKAY.)

December 11th (Present Day)

"And, once again, that's how you integrate a negative exponent," my poor professor looks exasperated as he stares at our class. "You guys do know there's a final exam on this next week, right?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if I get it," the blonde boy who sits behind me pipes up. His accent his thick, definitely from southern Georgia.

It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes while Mr. Pallon sits back down in his chair. "Just come see me during office hours, Jeremy. Does anybody else have any review questions for out last class?"

The other nine of us remain silent, so I guess he takes that as a "no." He dismisses us and while I'm packing my stuff up, I can feel Jeremy, the blonde boy, looming over me.

"Yes?" I'm a little annoyed, but I also feel bad for the kid. I was just in calculus at the community college near my parents' house as a refresher since I hadn't been in college for a while, and he was fresh out of high school.

He's bouncing on his toes, and it gives him a kind of excited puppy look. "You understand this stuff, right? I mean, you've taken the class before, and you seem to know what you're talking about when Mr. P asks you a question."

"I do. What's up?" I know where he's going with this, but I'm praying he takes it in a different direction. I don't have the time or energy to teach this boy an entire semester of math in less than a week.

"Could you like, give me the answers during the final?" He looks down at me with his big blue eyes which I'm sure have gotten him out of a lot of messes in the past. But not this one. I didn't mean to laugh as loud as I did, but it caught me off guard.

"Do you even know my name, Jeremy?" As I ask him this question, Aaron walks up behind him. Aaron is ex-military and is the only other person in this class who seems to know what's going on. He's six-feet tall and has an incredible body frame that I don't even have to see unclothed in order to know how strong he is. He intimidates Jeremy a little, which is funny.

"Uhm...Mandy, right?" Jeremy guesses, and I'm assuming he just picked the letter "M" because of the monogrammed water bottle on my desk.

Is he serious? "Dude, you're joking right?" Aaron defends me before I get the opportunity. He's obviously much older than Jeremy, both in his appearance and personality.

"Look, I don't want to get kicked out of school because you've been doing god knows what all semester, and Mr. P is really observant. I think he'd notice me giving you answers from two rows ahead of you. So, no. I will not give you the answers. If you have questions about the material, I'll do my best to answer them, though. But do you want my honest advice?" I'm sure he doesn't, but I give him the opportunity anyways.

"What are your thoughts...Mary?" He's grasping at straws, and I roll my eyes while smirking.

"Still not my name. But if you're having this much trouble understanding Calculus I, maybe engineering isn't the major for you. What do you really want to do?"

He looks down at his feet before finally answering, "I don't know. I'm still trying to figure it out."

I give him my best half smile and tell him the same thing something told me a few years ago. "It's okay to not be sure, but don't spend too much time trying to convince yourself you're where you want to be if you're not. Nineteen is not where you need to make decisions for the rest of your life. My mom went back to college at thirty-eight and became an amazing nurse. That was while she was raising kids. So if you don't want to be an engineer, don't force yourself into all this student loan debt in order to make that happen. Now, go study your ass off and I'll see you later for the final."