"Who are you really Manoban?"
Simply, a broken woman. A history too painful to recall. A lost puzzle piece too unworthy to find under everyone's bed. Alone, that's how she desires her lifestyle to be like. A girl who doesn't believe she deserves lov...
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Lisa felt trapped, cuffed down, and beaten once again by the past, her horrible history that took a toll in her life. A part of it, the good part, was sitting right there and sipping on the drink she made just for him.
Dangerous, Jungkook was dangerous. She needed to stay away from the black swan. From the potential pain and fatality he could bring to her. She was a ship wreck, soon to be discovered, but not by him.
Oh no, Lisa couldn't expose how vulnerable she really was. How her father gambled with life for mistresses and alcohol, only to bet his own daughter in the little game he called poker. She called it the black hole. No way could Lisa reveal how her body was explored unwillingly by a stranger, trembling as he dropped his weight onto her. She couldn't let him know how neglected she felt when she learned of Jungkook's departure. Did he even want to see her?
Dirty, Lisa planted the word into her mind. Filthy, she considered herself to be. Jungkook wouldn't want to touch a crummy, disheveled, disgusting girl like her. "He shouldn't even lay an eye on me," Lisa's brain ran off and the devil on her shoulder ruled.
Lisa didn't want to want him, but she did. Fuck, she needed him to know about every detail, every nook and cranny of her life. Her well being.
The only problem was..
He was going to leave. Like the last time. Like everyone who had carelessly thrown her away in the gutter.
Filters, the world was made of filters. Layers upon layers of rainbows and butterflies. Lisa was at the bottom of the pyramid. The hell hole made of empty goodbyes and advertisements, ghosts made of lies. Nightmares. Many of them.
She had put herself in such a tough facade. Her defencelessness needed to be disguised perfectly in the world she lived in. Lisa refused every little offer Rosé gave her, or Jisoo's either.
Alone, the only friend that understood her.
Lisa wanted it to end before it begins. To quit the poker game before she loses herself into it. Just like her dad.
