Trashed & Treasured

28

....8 weeks later...

A day turned into a week and the weeks have continuously added up in the blink of an eye. We've approached the 8th week of this and still haven't the slightest idea what to do. Despite the intense lovemaking that took place the night everything happened, things between Dominic and I have been everything but happy and loving. Our days are spent in different corners of the house or distances apart and the nights are pretty much the same. After he's done exhausting himself attempting to restore wolves on his own to no avail, he finds his way to our bedroom where I'm almost always already asleep. We remain apart for most of the night but the strength of our wolves tends to make that gap dissolve and by morning I'm tucked safely in his arms with our legs tangled together. How did we get to this point? Why are we here? The simplest answer I can give is because of me.

After a week of nothing, I expressed my desire to follow through with what I originally wanted; to surrender to Cameron just to get close enough to him to kill him. Something I should have done when I had the chance. I'm viewed as a wolf of high power by the entire wolf nation but in all actuality, I'm weak. I allowed my conscience to overpower instinct and because of my inability to strip Cameron of his wolf and deal with the fact that in doing so I'd end his life, people are suffering and my relationship with the man I love is strained. My people are suffering. For that reason, I think with my whole heart that the right thing to do is give myself up.

Of course, Dominic wasn't hearing it and resorted to cursing me out. Yes, actually cursing me out. The last time he did that was the night he marked me and I'd be lying if I said his anger and aggression didn't turn me on but I had very little time to dwell on the tingles of want rolling through me. He was genuinely angry and hurt; rightfully so. I came into his life and made him love again only to bring him drama. That's not how he sees it but it's the only way I can. After the severe tongue lashing I got, Dominic stormed off and that was that. We haven't said more than a few words to each other but have moments where we can't help but stare. I love him so much and it's clear that he loves me just the same but I need him to understand that this is something I need to do to gain inner peace.

This morning I headed out before the sun made it's presence not bothering to awaken Kayla to go with me. Throughout this, she and Jaxon have gained a closeness that will only grow if they're not plagued with the issue between my mate and I. Pushing out into the brisk morning air I took a deep breath and embraced my wolf. Shifting now is nowhere near as easy as it was before considering the lack of contact with our mate. Each time she's freed I have to fight her to keep from running back into the house and rubbing against Dominic until it pulls his wolf from him. There is this overwhelming need to get what our human forms have been neglecting; affection and the chance to just be together but I can't do that. I just can't be happy knowing that the people around me aren't.

Pulling in another huge breath I started off in the direction that Cameron and the others had retreated two months ago. His scent was long gone but I know for a fact that he couldn't have and wouldn't have gone far. The whole point of his plan was to taunt me and piss off my mate so why would he go somewhere far? Better question, why can't I find him? I spent the entire day running from pack to pack looking for Cameron, ignoring Dominic's demands through the mind link to come home and eat something until I honestly felt like I was going to pass out from the lack of eating that has been taking place in the last few weeks.

With this being the norm for me, I have clothes stashed all around the pack's territory line so I chose to shift back, dress, and walk the rest of the way. I'm not in a rush to get home since there is nothing awaiting me but silence. I haven't been able to face my parents even though they've been very understanding of the situation. I wish I could say the same for everyone else.