Tsukki Doesn't Care [TsukkiYama fanfic | Haikyuu!!]

"Stop ignoring me."

"Hey, Yamaguchi. Come practice receives with me."

"Yamaguchi, let's study together."

"Yamaguchi, let's eat lunch together."

"Yamaguchi, walk home with me."

Once again, Tsukishima's request was followed by pure silence. It had been this way for the past week. Tsukishima would approach Yamaguchi for any dumb reason, and Yamaguchi would pretend he heard nothing and left when he wanted to, or when someone else called him.

When did it get this way? Tsukishima thought, walking home by himself once again. He waited for the moment when Yamaguchi would run up to him, yelling "Tsukki!!! wait for me!!!" so that they could walk together. But once again, that moment never came, and Tsukishima was left with a false sense of uncertainty.

He heard voices coming up from the other side of the road. Probably some other kids. They were so annoying, and their voices just kept getting louder and louder. Jesus, are they aware of other people around them? It's like they're yelling. He proceeded to put on his headphones, when he looked over and saw that small crowd under a street light. Walking behind that crowd, looking straight at Tsukishima, was a certain tall, green-ish haired boy with stars on his cheeks.

Shit.

Our eyes met.

The two just stared at each other, walking at the same pace, both their mouths held slightly agape. I need to look away, he thought. He knew. But he just couldn't. He wanted to see him more. Just looking at Yamaguchi made him forget everything that had happened in the past two months.

That is, until Yamaguchi ran into the next lamppost. He muttered a small "ow" before he continued walking, hiding his red face with his hand.

"Yamaguchi, hurry up!" One of them called. "Ah-hold on!" He called back, smilling. He took one more glance at Tsukishima, glared, and ran off.

Did he just...?

"Tch."

-------------

"I'm home," He cried into the seemingly lifeless hallway. His mother poked her head out the kitchen. "Welcome home, Kei." She said. "Do you want dinner?"

"I'm good. Not that hungry today. Sorry."

She humphed, and hid back behind the wall. "I'll just give your serving to Akiteru then." she muttered, so that Tsukishima could hear.

A few minutes later, Tsukishima's older brother Akiteru walked though the front door and the three ate dinner. The conversation was as bleak as expected; their mother asked the two about their days. Only Akiteru answered with more than "fine."

They ate dinner mostly in silence after that; Tsukishima left first, leaving around half of his plate untouched and his mother fussing about him needing to eat more.

"You're not gonna gain any muscle eating as much as you do!"

Bold of you to assume I care.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not that hungry today." He said to her, not wanting to be rude to his mom.

He began to walk up the stairs when he heard plates clattering behind him, followed by his brother's voice.

"I'm done too." He called. Tsukishima clicked his tongue and started walking a bit faster, but was unable to get rid of Akiteru. "Yo, Kei! I bet you missed playing volleyball with your older brother, huh?"

No. Leave me alone.

"No. Leave me alone." He responded, not caring in the slightest if he came off as rude to his brother.

"Alright, fine. But still, something's bothering you, right?"

"Go away."

"See, you don't deny it."

"C'mon, let's play in the yard for a bit like we used to."

Tsukishima, knowing all too well that his brother's decision couldn't be fazed, complied and walked back down.

The two were tossing the ball back and forth for a while. "So what happened?" Akiteru finally spoke up.

"..."

"Does it have to do with your grades?"

"..."

"I thought so. Your grades never get worse, do they? Then... the volleyball team?"

Tsukishima nearly missed the ball at that and had to readjust his glasses.

"I'm getting close, huh? Then... Yamaguchi!"

The ball flew a bit too far for Tsukishima to make the effort to try and grab it.

"So I was right!" Akiteru laughed, only for his face to contort somberly.

"What happened?"

The two sat down in front of the house and Tsukishima stared at the grass.

"Tell me when you feel like it. I won't pressure you."

After a long silence, and many hesitant attempts at speaking, Tsukishima finally spoke up.

"I...I think I did something awful... To Yamaguchi.

"I was really annoyed at how he wouldn't stop talking one night, and I kinda lashed out... He looked so scared, and I didn't even notice, so I tried making up, but he keeps keeping me at arms length, and now I did something really awful, and now I don't know what to do... I didn't even think I needed him this much. I-"

Tsukishima took off his glasses and let his tears fall down his cheeks. Akiteru reached his other arm over and gave his brother a hug. He continued sobbing uncontrollably for quite a long while.

After he calmed down a bit, Akiteru slowly moved away and held his shoulders, smiling at Kei. "You know, Kei... I really, really shouldn't need to ask this, but...

"Did you apologize at all?"

"...Huh?"

That sentence rang in his head. He scoffed a little. "Of course I did. That's the first sensible thing to do, isn't it? I apologized..."

Wait, did I?

His confusion appeared to be showing on his face, because Akiteru answered accordingly. "You know, it's such a simple thing, yet it's so easy to forget. But I don't think you forgot."

Tsukishima looked at Akiteru in his eyes for the first time that night.

"I could be wrong, but I think you're scared of apologizing. I've seen it in the way you've grown up. You're scared of showing emotion to others. You're scared of committing to anything. Because you think that before you know it..."

It'll all come crashing down on you.

"I admit, that thing that happened in high school still scares me. It was partially my fault that you are the way you are right now. So... I guess I need to apologize too, hehe...

"I'm sorry."

Kei wiped his eyes on his sleeve and struggled to hold back a smile that started showing on his face. He laughed a little.

"Apology accepted."

The two smiled brightly; for Kei it was probably the first time he'd done so in years.

"Anyway, be sure you find some time to apologize to Yamaguchi. And be sure to explain to him what you think. You should let yourself be vulnerable with people you trust. That's also probably where that poor kid got a bit scared."

"Right..."

"Let's go inside."

Tsukishima nodded and followed him in.

Tell him what I think...

Shit.

I can't possibly tell him I'm in love with him.