Pain Is The Game (Book TWO)

Pain Is The Game - Chapter 4 - It's Just A Party

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Pain Is The Game
Chapter 4 - It's Just A Party

Looking through my closet shouldn't be as hard as it was at this moment. It's not as though I have many options to pick from. I don't even know why I cared to look decent at all. It's not like any of these people cared about me before or would even recognize me now to even acknowledge me. Maybe what I'm most nervous about is seeing my parents and my brother.

It's been over two years since I've seen my parents and over four months since I've seen Oscar. It seems that ever since he found his mate, remotely giving me his attention is far from being a task of his. My big brother has not spoken to me, asked about me, or even sent me a message, yet I feel nothing about that fact. Oscar is my brother, yes, but we never got along. It was my parents I was most worried about seeing during all of this.

What was I to do when I crossed paths with my mother after all this time? Ask her why she hated me? Or better yet, ask her why she never came to look for me... I had to have been worth something to her, anything. There had to have been some part of her that cared about me, some part of her that worried about me when I was gone. But what if there wasn't, what if she didn't care? Honestly, that wouldn't surprise me either.

I needed to stop caring about them and just think about myself. This was all that I needed to do in order to get Dylan to approve of my departure, and then I'll be free. It won't be that hard, and that thought motivated me enough to dress in just about anything. I settled on a simple outfit, and I looked at myself in my bathroom mirror to ensure that I looked decently. I didn't want Dylan looking for any excuse to deny me. I examined my outfit, and I smiled with satisfaction as I eyed my pair of black jeans that I tied with a tan belt, a pair of tan kneehigh boots to compliment it, and a black turtle neck that enhanced my blue butterfly necklace around my neck. This shirt was perfect in covering up my hideous scar. The scar that reminded me of how far I went off the ledge and became something I despised more than anything—a Rogue.

I thought about Kathy, my Rogue-wolf within me-- for a moment, just a moment. I shook my head. She was not allowed to come back into my mind. I'll be alright, all I have to do is get through this, and I'll be free to fix everything. I'm going to be okay.

I looked at myself and smiled again. It actually felt good to do this. I feel like I'm actually doing something today. I giggled slightly at the thought, who would've thought that Dylan of all people could make me feel good by getting me out of this room? Not I.

I looked over at the clock on my phone. 6:41 pm, it read.

Okay, cool, Dylan said that this party would be starting at 7 pm. If I get there right at seven, then I'm good to go at 9 pm. I'll make sure I call Dylan in the morning just in case he parties too much tonight and doesn't keep track of my time himself. I took a deep breath and sat at the edge of my bed, waiting for the time to pass before I began walking towards the party. I closed my eyes and focused my hearing on everything around me. I started off small, just listening to the noises within my room. The only thing I heard was the water dripping from the sink in the bathroom, aside from that pure silence.

I then moved it up a bit and began to stretch my hearing into the hall, then down the stairs. I heard children running around and talking amongst themselves; I even heard women gossiping in the backyard of the Packhouse. There were so many voices and noises happening at once that it was nearly impossible to figure out what voice belonged to who. I have no idea whose voice I was looking for in the first place. Maybe I was just trying to make sure I didn't walk into a place and not know who'd all be there. But I guess that was going to be happening anyways.

I looked at my clock again, 6:48 pm.

Okay, this is a good time for me to make my way down there. If I walked slowly and paid attention to who I heard on my way there, then this should be easy. I stood from the bed and made my way to the door. As I left, I grabbed my favorite blue cardigan. After giving myself one final look over, I left out of the room for the first time in months and began to slowly make my way to the same Pack that witnessed me get rejected two years ago.