Unforgettable You {Extraordinary You Sequel!}

Episode 6: The Explanation

"I still don't get it."

"And you never will unless you let me talk for longer than five minutes without interrupting!" Juda yells, like she's losing her mind. She curses foully. "For f*ck's sake! I thought you were a girl who never talked, but you actually never shut up."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Dano presses her fingertips into her temples, closing her eyes. "This is all just so strange to me. Stage? Shadow? A comic book?"

"The way you are in the stage and shadow can be totally different, but only if you have an ego. An ego is like an awareness. It allows you to really be free of the writer, basically. People with egos own the shadow. They can act how they want when they want to. Someone without an ego would look like a brainless doll to someone with an ego, because people without egos can't. Do. Anything. Without. The writer," Juda presses her palms into the table with every word, stressing the lasting syllables.

"It's bizarre that I exist like this," Dano murmurs, flipping through the pages of the comic book. On the front, scrawled in big letters and pretty font, the title sings Forgotten Winter. It's the book of her life, but... it's hardly her life. "And even more bizarre that I exist, but, I don't exist for myself."

These words themselves fall heavy, like steel weights on her chest. It feels awful to know this.

Juda sighs, "Yeah..." she paces slowly to her side of the room and plops onto her bed. "I mean, I kind of get now why you guys kept saying it sucks to be an extra. I didn't get it last time. See, I was the female protagonist—"

"You were the protagonist?" Dano repeats, awed. The idea amazes her, and yet froths bitter envy. That Yeo Juda was one of the book's protagonists.

Juda scoffs. The corners of her lips tug upwards, and yet, it's not a happy smile, "Yeah. I was. But, trust me. No matter how bad it feels being an extra, and how lucky it might seem to be a protagonist, you're wrong. I've been both, and I like being an extra."

"You do?"

"I do."

Dano frowns. She glances down at the book again. Without realising she had opened up to the page that they had just performed. Juda and Dano and Gyeong's weird handholding.

"Of course," she breathes. "That makes sense now! Gyeong was so weird, he suddenly held my hand. I was wondering as it was happening why he was suddenly so direct..."

"The writer's trash, if you ask me. This book is trash. The last book was trash."

"I have so many questions," Dano says, standing up and whirling to face Juda, her eyes hazy. "So—Gyeong. He doesn't have an ego, right?"

"No."

"He just does what the writer tells him to?"

"Yes."

"And in the shadow?"

"He doesn't even remember the shadow, so it doesn't matter what he does. To him, the stage is his life."

"So..." Dano trails off. "The handholding. Talking to me all the time. Everything... it's not real. Because, he doesn't know he's doing it."

"Wrong, actually," Juda interjects. "It's real to him. And it should be real to you to. Sure, maybe he repeats himself like a broken radio offstage. Maybe he doesn't remember everything you say. But, in the stage he has feelings for you and he'll continue to have those feelings for you when you're in the shadow. Even when he doesn't remember anything."

"Are you talking about your male protagonist?" Dano asks carefully.

A moment passes, and it becomes clear suddenly that Juda is nostalgic. She is remembering things Dano can hardly grasp onto. Juda blinks and tears herself from her thoughts, eyes sullen, "Well, yes. I am."

"Is he in this book too?"

"Yes, he is," she shrugs. "But—it's fine. I'm not going to try to help him find his ego. To be honest, I didn't like him that much. I appreciated how much he liked me, and the romance was nice and all, but—"

"Are you lying?" Dano asks.

"No, I'm not. I liked another guy more. The supporting protagonist."

"You what?"

"Yeah. In my heart... I know I did."

"But—but he's the male protagonist," Dano questions. "That guy, your male protagonist... weren't you supposed to end up with him?"

"Yes, I was. And, as far as the writer knows, I did. But that doesn't change anything," Juda scoffs faintly. There's a secret smile in her voice. "I don't know. I was supposed to like the male protagonist more, obviously. But the other guy, the supporting protagonist... he was just funnier, and kinder, and cooler. And of course it helped that he had his ego. I did. I really liked him.... but.... he knew and I knew that we could never be together unless we challenged the writer. Other people had tried in the last story. Apparently, they'd done it. I didn't have my ego then, but I heard that it was a mess—anyway, yes. I'm done talking."

"I'm not," Dano flips through the book again. Her mind still whirs with questions. She doesn't know what to ask next.

•••

"So, in the end, do we all die?"

"What?"

"In the end of the story. What happens?"

"No, we don't die. We just move on to the next story."

•••

"How come you remember the last story, and I... don't? I was there, wasn't I?"

"Yes, you were there."

"Really? I was? Wait—what was I like?"

"To be honest, I can't remember. I don't remember everything from the last story, only the details of my part... but I think you found your ego before me."

"I did?"

"Yeah. But... I didn't really know you then. I found my ego quite late."

"How do I remember?"

"I don't know."

•••

"I... I have a weird feeling about Gyeong."

"What is it? I want to sleep. It's midnight, Dano."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry! It's just... Gyeong. I feel like I know him."

"You mean, from the last story?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I guess that means you're starting to remember."

"But more importantly—"

"What?"

"I have that same feeling about... uhh... this other person."

"What?"

"... I...."

Silence.

"Dano."

"Huh? What?"

"What's wrong? You okay?"

"Oh, no—I'm okay! I'm fine, I'm just... all I was gonna say... um.... no, actually. No one else."

"Then go to sleep, g*ddammit."