Boys Don't Cry

Chapter 42

"Can I go see Jacob?" I ask them. They both turn to look at me, then they look at each other.

"Be back at six o'clock for dinner." Amelia says. I nod to this instruction and grab my jacket, heading for the door. The cold October air hits me As I make my way to Jacob's. I knock on his worn, brown door and wait for him to answer. When he does, we greet each other with a pat on the back and he welcomes me in to his house. We sit on one of his sofas and play video games, it makes me forget about everything that's happened recently. We carry on like this for an half an hour or so, before Jacob initiates a conversation.

"How's things?" He asks me.

"Good. A lot better." I admit. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"You sure? You can tell me if you're not." He presses.

"No, I'm fine, Honestly. Things are looking up." I say smiling at him. He finally looks away and we continue playing video games for another twenty minutes. We turn off the game and sit back on the sofa.

"Not long now until you're a dad." He says, looking at me with a smile. I smile back quickly, but it soon fades.

"Yeah, I'm scared."

"That's only natural, it will be ok, everything will be fine." He replies. We light up a joint and pass it between us, I don't hesitate. I do think of how my dad will be disappointed, but it wears off and I enjoy myself. When I check the time, I realise it's only 16:29. Which means I still have around about an hour before I have to leave. We play until then, smoking and talking. He tells me about this girl he's met, who he really likes. Her name is Kaitlyn and she's from around here. She drinks, but does not take any drugs. Then Jacob tells me he wants me to meet her. So we arrange a party for next weekend, she'll come and so will Hayley and I. After forty five more minutes, I stand up to leave, Jacob walks me to the door and we exchange another pat on the back. Then I leave, heading for home.

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I put my plate in the dishwasher, and leave the room, walking in to the lounge to watch TV. My father joins me handing me a large envelope. I realise instantly what it is, but he doesn't. He looks at me puzzled. My hands nervously tear it open and I look at it, amazed.

"Change of name from

Michael Gordon

To

Michael Williams."

My father, who has yet to find out I was doing this, still looks confused, so I hand it to him, finally showing him. He smirks and then smiles, pleased with what I have done.

"When did you do this?" He asks, still smiling.

"The day I turned sixteen." I tell him. My father nods his head toward the door. Together we both stand up and go to find my mother, with my father holding the certificate of my name change. We find my mother in the kitchen, reading a magazine.

"You need to see what our son has done." My father tells her. Amelia looks up, panicked, but my dad hands her the piece of paper, beaming. She takes it from him, and reads it. It takes a minute for her to register what it says. Then she too, looks up grinning.

"You did this?" She asks me. I nod solemnly and she comes in for a hug, I embrace it and then she kisses me on the cheek. "I love you so much." She tells me.

"I love you too, Mum." I say, although it is muffled from my head which is buried in to her shoulder.

My father and I sit together, watching sports news. Amelia joins us about fifteen minutes later. I start thinking about the past, and how things have changed. The drugs, mainly. I would love to just take some cocaine, feel high once more. I can't shake the thought, and I begin to get restless. I can almost feel it going up my nose, the euphoric feeling washing over me. I am brought back to reality by my father, who is trying to conversate with me.