Love, Loss and Living

A new day Chapter 12

Tina sat on the couch sobbing until she had no more tears to cry.  She wondered what she was going to do next, when she heard a knock at the door.  Tina slowly stood wondering who could possibly be at the door.  As she opened the door slowly, to her surprise, Bette stood with a half smile coming across her face. 

"Can I come in," Bette asked tentatively.

"Of course," Tina said unsurely as she motioned Bette into her room.

Bette looked around and smiled, "No Carrie?"  She inquired. 

"No, she left and is returning to Toronto." 

"I'm sorry Tina," Bette said sincerely.  "I feel bad she got caught in the middle of this."

Tina looked at Bette not knowing how to react. 

Bette took a deep breath and began, "I reacted really bad in the parking lot.  It was definitely the old Bette surfacing."  Bette hesitated and then continued, "But, I need to say a few things that I want you to know and I have left unsaid for so long." She looked at Tina who gave her a pleading look to continue. Bette took another deep breath, "If someone told me three years ago that I would be looking at this situation, I would have told them they were crazy... but who knew." Bette sighed while shrugging her shoulders, "I know I have made it difficult for you at times. You chose to push your dreams aside to support me.  You said more times than I can remember, that you felt like I took all the energy out of our relationship leaving you no room. I know now that this left you feeling empty, incomplete.  I didn't give you the room to grow, to feel complete.  You found someone new who made it easier for you to be whole. I'm sorry you thought you had to leave me and Angie to find yourself, that you couldn't talk to me, help me understand how you felt. How I feel for you has never changed, since that first kiss all those years ago.  I know I don't want to feel another touch or know another kiss. You're where I want to go and I will never be complete without you. You came for forgiveness and I knew I should have given it to you, but the hurt was just so deep that it stopped me." Bette hesitated, "The truth is... I love you, I always have and always will..."

Tina looked at Bette and the tears began to fall.

Bette took a few steps closing the space between them and reached out and cupped Tina's face in her hands.   She looked deep into Tina's sad eyes, then leaned in and gave her a tender kiss. As Bette started to pull away, Tina wrapped her arms around Bette's neck and kissed her deeply opening her lips, offering for a more deeper kiss which Bette accepted. Slowly a familiar ache began to rise in her center and a passion that only the woman in front of her could bring out in her. Her body and soul missed their mate and they were demanding to be reunited. Tina could tell by how Bette was responding to her, that Bette was also feeling the visceral need to be close. Tina looked into Bette's eyes searching for direction. Bette took her hand and led her to the bed.... RING, RING, RING, Tina's eyes flew open as she woke startled and disappointed realizing it was only a dream. Tina sat up, blinked several times and looked around as her eyes welled up and she began to sob again as she rocked herself back and forth.

After a few minutes of sobbing, she took a long breath and settled herself down. In less than 24hrs, her entire life had changed and at this point she wasn't sure if she should stay in Los Angeles or if she was even wanted. She got up, opened the curtains and stared out the window. Her thoughts drifted to her dream. It was so real, she could almost taste Bette, but the wetness dripping between her thighs was most definitely real. How is Bette able to do this to me even in a dream, she thought.  She held herself, wishing that the dream had been real and it was Bette who was holding her.  Tina signed and reached for her phone.  It was Shane who had called and woke her from her unexpected dream.