Love, Loss and Living

The Unexpected Part 3

One Week Later

Bette stood staring out at the Los Angeles nighttime cityscape from her hotel room drinking a neat scotch.  Dani had insisted that she stay overnight because of the following morning breakfast she had set up with some high end donors.   Bette sighed, the campaign was starting to take its toll on her.  Tonight's debate went well and as predicted by both Pierce and Dani, the Teacher's Union gave her their endorsement with the announcement that Angie was attending public school.  Bette was still not comfortable with the idea of using Angie's school choice as a means of getting votes, but both Angie and Tina were in agreement with the decision.  Bette turned towards the sound of her phone buzzing.

"Hi Sweetheart," Bette smiled. Bette had thanked God everyday that Tina suggested Angie coming back to live with her. Losing both of them made her life unbearable. Angie coming to live with her forced her to pull herself together and start living again. Bette still struggled with over reacting. She had to put Angie's needs first. At times this proved to be difficult, but she was getting better.

"Hi Mom. I saw the debate, you looked great. And see me going to the Academy was good thing." Bette could hear the smile on Angie's face.

"Uncle Shane picked me up as we planned. I will see you tomorrow after school."

"Ok, Sweetheart, sleep well. I love you."

"Love you too Mom, bye."

Bette put the phone down along with her glass on the nightstand. She walked over to the foot of the bed and sat down. What am I doing, she thought. She grabbed a pillow and brought it to her face and began to sob. She was miserable and there didn't seem to be anything or anyone who could fill this emptiness inside her. On nights like this, when it was quiet and she had nothing to occupy her mind, the hurt from her losses overwhelmed her. Someone told her after Kit died, that she would grieve forever. She laughed at the time because she already new this from losing Tina. Bette hadn't gotten over her divorce, the loss was like a gapping hole in her heart and Kit's death only made the hole bigger. People all around her kept telling her she would heal and rebuild her life, but that hadn't happened. It had been almost a year. The days slipped by slowly and the campaign helped to distract her. She had not learned to live with the losses, nor did she think she ever would. Bette's world came crashing down the day Tina left for Toronto, because she new things would never be the same. Life had shown Bette no mercy and her soul was torn apart for a second time when Kit died a few months after her divorce was final. She had felt like she was going through the motions of life.  As of late, she had felt that she was done and that she was letting everyone down. She was going crazy with the hurt and the darkness was slowly winning. Bette raised her tear soaked face from the pillow when she her the light knock on the door. What am I doing, she said to herself again as she walked to the door and slowly opened it. She gave the striking African American woman a half smile as she step to the side allowing her into the room.

Dani had been talking to people all evening about the success of Bette at the debate. She felt that Bette needed rest, so she suggested staying the night at the hotel where the debate had been held. Bette would be needed early in the morning for her breakfast fundraiser and Dani wanted her fresh.  However a problem came up. Dani thought it a good idea to get a jump on it now, so she headed up to Bette's room to discuss it.  She was just rounding the hall corner when she saw her.  Dani made a quick step back, "shit," she said quietly to herself.  We got a bigger problem now.

********
One week later

Long after the voices stopped and the last of her staff left for the evening, Bette sat at her desk thinking about the conversation she had with Felicity earlier in the day.  Her mind was exhausted from trying to force reason onto her body that burned for the touch of another, Felicity.  Angry tears stung her eyes, things had gotten so complicated.  She loved Tina, but she was gone. Her body wanted Felicity, it was that simple and that complicated, that achingly painful and it squeezed the breath from her. How could her body be betraying her. She just seemed to make one bad decision after another and now Dani knows that she didn't stop the affair with Felicity.  Bette looked down at the list of names she was given to call.  Phone banking was a necessary evil for all campaigns.  For her, it was just another way to take her mind off the gaping hole in her heart that seemed to the force driving one bad decision after another.  Bette's phone buzzed.