Happily Ever After

Ten~ Meant To Be

Jenna

After work today Kris and I decided to go out on another date. It's not every day he is in town so he wanted to make sure we saw each other as much as possible when he is here.

Dating him has been so different because I'm so used to a guy just texting me "wyd" or "Wanna go to the bars tonight"? He puts a lot more thought and effort into being with me, and it's taking some getting used to. I guess you get let down by people so many times you start expecting the bare minimum, and when you finally do get it you treat it like it's something amazing. When in reality it's how all relationships should be like at least.

But Kris always went above and beyond, it was kind of amazing. I know he does this because he is in a position to be more than most men are, but it doesn't make it any less surprising when he sends flowers or brings coloring stuff over for Mary because he knows that's her favorite thing to do. He was a above average man with a above average heart and I am so very lucky that he looked into his future and decided he wanted me a part of it.

So I get off of work and run home to shower and change. Once I had on my track shorts and tank top I meet Kris at the Cafe. We take off from there and find some trials to walk as a little physical exertion date.

I told him that I liked walking a lot because it cleared my mind. He liked it because he hated being still so this was a lot of fun for the both of us. Even though he has a game tonight he wasn't going to start because he has a scheduled off day. So hopefully I don't work him too hard in case they need him he can pinch hit or pinch run tonight.

We hit the trails and get to talking like always. Even though we grew up worlds apart he understood me and I listened to every word he had to say. We might not know the same things but we like to learn about each other and see just how right we are for each other.

"Can I ask you something" he starts. "And you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"I won't throw a conniption fit" I promise.

"Why didn't you do therapy and counseling after you graduated in December? I saw the pictures of you and Mary at your graduation, I've seen your degree sitting in your room. You went through five years of schooling and you worked your ass off for that degree, why aren't you using it" he wonders.

I close my eyes for a second as I let out a sigh. I turn to him as he stares at me waiting for my answer.

"I got that degree because I thought I could help people. I thought I would become a superhero that could prevent these awful things from happening to others. To keep them from knowing the pain I knew but still learn the lessons I did. I figured that if I did this then all of that shit I went through... all of that wasn't for nothing.

But then my sister started using drugs again and I thought that this was the perfect opportunity to help someone. That I could start with her and begin helping people out, making their lives seem better even when the light had seemed to fade.

Then my sister over dosed and I felt defeated. I couldn't help my own flesh and blood, how was I supposed to stop bad things from happening to other people? How can I reach out and connect to a stranger when the woman I was living with, the only person in my life that loved me through thick and thin was gone and I couldn't help her" I ask.

"Baby you're not meant to stop bad things from happening. We're all human after all and things are out of our control.

But you can help them after the fact. You can't undo the damage, you understand that more than anyone. But if you can't prevent the problem then the next best thing is to try and fix it" he explains.

"It's not that easy. Trust me, I know. I tried. And in the end I ended up at the cafe where I met you so I think it all worked out" I try.

"No one is meant to stay in the same place forever. There's a world of people who could use a voice like yours. And not because your accent is incredibly cute or you seem to find the best ways to explain things.

But sometimes people just want to know that others feel the way they do and that it does get better. That those days when they feel like they don't want to go on that they should because someone would be missing them if they didn't" he claims.

"Sometimes when people get hurt they don't want to hear any of that. You know? They want answers and sometimes the answers suck" I explain.

"And who is going to tell them that if you're serving pancakes to Joe and Maggie every day? You're a voice that can change peoples lives, I know, it's happening to me right now. Sometimes we have to hear what we need and not what we want. And I think you're the perfect person to tell them that" he insists.

I stop walking as I look up at him. "You really believe in me" I ask.

"There's so much more to you than you show people. Luckily for me I can see right through those walls you built. And I know you have everything you need to be this person you set out to be. But you keep telling yourself that you can't do it so you can't fail.

If you ask me, if you don't even try then you already did" he argues.

"Wow, that's a lot of philosophy from someone who hasn't been through enough stuff to know theses things" I accuse.

"I learned this all from you. When you talk I listen, we all do. That's why I think you should take that degree that you defied all the odds to get and put it to work. You might not be able to help your sister but there's other people who need you. You can do it" he assures me.

"Thanks to you I probably can" I smile.

"I'll be whatever you need me to be. I can be a practice patient or a shoulder to lean on. Name it and I'm there" he insists.

"There is no way you're real" I accuse and he laughs.

"This relationship kind of feels like a dream. But if that's the case then I never want to wake up" he says.

"Me either" I agree.