Pervade and Faint

Chapter 27

When I woke up from the loneliest night ever, I went straight to Amir's room. To my surprise, Amir and Tyrese were awake. Amir was closing the buttons of his shirt and Tyrese was packing another bag. I didn't bother to ask about the second bag.
"You guys ready?" I asked, but neither one of them paid attention to me. They seemed really busy in their work. Amir left the top button of his shirt open, leaving a small picture of his chest and long neck.
"Hurry up", shouted Amir and Tyrese rummaged through the closet. He took out some clothes, disheveled, and threw them in a bag. I stood near Amir, staring at him from head to toe.
"Do you need my help?" I asked, my gaze still fixed at him like a magnet.
"In a trance?" he asked and waved a hand in front of my eyes.
"Yeah...yeah...wait what?" I said, actually in a trance. He was ravishingly beautiful and nothing could have proved that false.
"When are you going to leave?" he asked.
"After dropping you", I answered and he got himself busy with Tyrese again.
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Due to the un-spacious trunk, we had to place a bag in the backseat. The bag sat with Tyrese. Amir drove, while I sat in the front seat. The airport wasn't at a great distance, but it took long because we were stopped by a police officer. The police officers inquisitiveness not just perturbed us, but also absorbed our time. He asked about the bag, which we had in the backseat. The enquiry would have never lasted more than five minutes if it wasn't for Tyrese. When the police officer tried to open the bag, in order to check what was in it, he embraced it with an adamantine grip.
"ITS MINE", he yelled, which put the police officer in a shallow suspense.
But Amir handled the situation by telling the officer that his friend was crazy. For a moment, I didn't know who he had been referring to.
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It took us a while to find a parking spot. The traffic was dense, cars tightly packed like sardines. We couldn't find a single porter, but that wasn't much of a problem because Amir carried his bag himself.
"What about that one?" I asked and beckoned towards the bag in the backseat, the enquiry bag.
"It's mine", said Tyrese, in a childish, aggressive way.
"What's in it?" asked Amir and that's something I really wanted to know as well.
"It", he answered mysteriously.
"What it?" asked Amir.
"What it, what it, what it...", reiterated the infernal Tyrese for the next five minutes.

Amir stood in front of Terminal 5 and looked up at the screen to find his flight.
"When are you going to be back?" I asked.
"If life guarantees, probably after two weeks", he answered, without looking at me.
I stood there for a while, also looking at the screen. Although, I didn't know what his flight was.

"Guys, let's get a picture. I swear I'm going to miss you", said Tyrese from behind and both of us turned.
Tyrese took his phone out and told us to get closer. I felt Amir's shoulder against mines and I wanted Tyrese to take forever for the picture. I wanted him to take pictures till the memory of his phone would finish.
"Don't say cheese, say what it", he said.
We all said what it simultaneously and he snapped the picture.
"I'm going to miss you", I said to Amir. But my voice didn't have that strong effect on him. My voice didn't provoke a response in him and it wasn't sufficient to produce a gleam in his eyes, the gleam that formed when he heard that girl's name, the girl with whom he was in love with. Definitely not me. The reason why my voice didn't have that effect on him was because I was in love with him, but he wasn't with me. And only a lover's voice charms a lover. And he was a lover of someone else, while I loved him to the nth degree. The stability of my single heart distorted because hearts are meant to be in the form of a pairs. And my heart, not just single, but broken. And that's the result of love.
When two hearts entwine, a third one always dies.
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Amir left. In a blink of a second, he was gone. The whole entire airport seemed deserted after he was out of vision. I sat in my car, waiting for Tyrese. He was standing outside, talking with someone on the phone. He tapped the window and I rolled it down.
"Rose is about to come, I'll leave with her", he explained
and stood in front of the car, waiting for his girlfriend. I gripped the wheel and rubbed my hands on it. After all, Amir was the last one who had touched it. However, the wheel didn't provide me a single feeling of his touch. I shut my eyes and tried to think of nothing. But I failed. When I thought of nothing, I thought of him. And when I thought of everything, I still thought of him. Because he became my everything.
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Rose arrived after a few minutes in a pristine car. Probably not the latest, but a well kept Lexus LX-470 in a mint condition. It was triple white, genuine tires.
Tyrese took his bag out and it migrated to the trunk of the LX-470.
"Do me a favor?" he pleaded. He handed me a single key.
"Get rid of the drinks, close the fridge, lights...yeah, that's pretty much it", he finished.
"Got it", I said and put the keys in the glove compartment (Glove box).
"Bye", he said and I nodded. I saw him sit in the front seat with his girlfriend. She kissed him as soon as he fastened his seatbelt. My heart writhed, not because of Tyrese. It writhed because it was desperate. It was single and lonely. Everyone was to be seen in pairs, happy. And there was me, loneliest person on earth.
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The traffic diluted. Therefore, the ride the university didn't last long. I opened Amir's room and then the fridge. There were only a few drinks in it. I took them out of the fridge and threw them in my bag. I detached the switch of the fridge from electrical appliance, sat on Amir's bed and creased the corners with my hands. He was nowhere. Due to the fact that he got his covered changed, the sheets didn't even offer his smell, just the faint odor of detergent. He left not a vestige of himself, but an avalanche of memories. Every moment gives rise to a memory. And there were a bunch of moments between us.
An extremely terrifying and dark silence descended in the room. The only sound in the room was the clock ticking sharply. 'Two weeks', I thought. Every day, every minute, every second, him.
When I realized that I was the only living organism in the dormitory hall, well actually, dormitory house, a claustrophobic feeling gripped me and I abruptly left his room. Although, Amir's absence was merely enough for claustrophobia.

I entered my room and stripped my clothes off. For a minute, I stared at my body, at my bare legs and breast. I didn't like my body when it was without him. I quickly changed my clothes and brushed my hair. I had plenty of clothes at home. So I didn't have to opine whether I should have packed a bag to take with me or not. I grabbed my essentials and took off.

The same silence followed me all the way to my car, and I even knew that the silence was to be appointed and attached indelibly. All of this is happening because of love, I thought. Love, which led Romeo to Juliet, Darcy to Elizabeth, introverts to themselves, worshippers to God. And me. It introduced me to the dark hell of loneliness. Agony.
I thought about my relationship with Amir. My relationship with him was like a petroleum and water. I always floated on the top of him, but never did he dissolve me in himself. And never did my cube of love dissolve in the blood of his heart.
God never wills or does bad to anyone, I thought. His every action is a test, a lesson. I wanted to know what test I was being given. Or what was the sin which I had committed. The sin that led me to the oceans of loneliness and agony. Either way, I never left one thing. Hope. Because that's the only eternal in love.
Hope.