Pervade and Faint

Chapter 9

I gingerly opened the door and immersed my head in, imperceptibly, to check if dad was awake, because he was the only concern. I couldn't possibly remember the last time when he had talked to me for a minute or two, straight. I despised talking to him. The way he talked to me was a complete antithesis of the way mom talked to me. The way Amir talked to me.

Both of them were fast asleep. There were two beds in the room. One could have occupied two. However, mom and dad slept on separate beds. The last time mom slept with dad must have been seventeen years ago, when I was born.
I quietly slipped in the room and sat mom's bed, obviously. I carefully produced a mirror from my bag and watched the reflection. My lips were swollen. It was the first time I had kissed someone. Amir.

And I hoped that I would never kiss anyone but Amir. Looking at my slightly protuberant lip, my heart began to beat rapidly. What is dad going to say? I thought. He will definitely kill me, I dreaded. I drew the mirror closer to my face. There were traces of Amir dissolved in me. But it was only my eye to witness that. I touched my lips, wondering how long his taste would linger in my mouth. If it was in my control, I would want it to be eternal. After seventeen detrimental years, there was finally a change in my life. I fell in love. Never had my life been so beautiful and, simultaneously, complicated. Amir, being from the west, was quite different from everyone else. It took him a long time to camouflage in the Eastern traditions and culture. And I still felt that he wasn't completely dissolved because there were a lot of things incompatible between him and the mediocre students. Men in our family, as a matter of fact, men from the east, embrace each other when they meet. Amir wasn't akin to that tradition. So, some of our relatives even humiliated him. My dad, in particular, called him a sack. I really despised my dad for being rude to him. A strong antipathy began to grow between me and my dad, ever since Amir came to Pakistan.

Dad hid hatred feelings for everyone. There had been all negative twirling in his life. My mom, on the other hand, really liked him.

Because he wasn't just different, he was respectful and inevitably, respectable. Amir was virtuous, unlike his competent in college. The competition between Amir and Sameer was like two feet in a race, both tending and vying to take the lead. But there was a major and very conspicuous factor that discriminated the both of them. Sameer was despicable and brimful of vanity, as I used to refer. He looked down upon everyone. Even to the teachers, seldom. But they didn't say anything to him because he was really good in studies. Amir, on the other hand, owned much prestige and academic eminence because of his ceremonious behavior. I still remembered when Sameer threw Amir's books on his commence day of college. And that was the day I fell in love with Amir. The day he was in seek of a seat. My heart reserved a berth for him that day. He dominated my mind and thoughts. But most importantly, he owned my heart.

__________________

The next morning, I woke up when I heard dad talking to uncle Zubair on the phone. He was at a distance of, literally, ten feet from him, yet preferred to talk on the phone. I could have betted that my dad's voice was loud enough to reach Amir's dad even if he hung up the phone. But I didn't interfere because he always does his things in his way and no one is to amend his way but him.

"Did you sleep well?" asked mom, turning to my side. I nodded.
"And had fun?" she asked. This time, I elongated my eyeballs and nodded.
"We're about to leave in five minutes. Gates open after seven", announced dad, piercing our conversation and went to the bathroom.
"Should I change?" I asked
"If the need excels, then yes. Otherwise, you are fine."
"I think I'm fine", I said and scrolled in my bag to check if I had some lipstick.
"So where did you go last night?" asked mom.
"Mom, we just bought hot chocolate and came back", I lied. I didn't want to tell her much, even though I trusted her much. She nodded.