Emma (before Red Band Society)

The Party

Me and Darcy get off the school bus and walk separate ways. We only have French class together and that's not until later on. Right now I have to go in and take a science test. The test was placed on my desk and I could not focus. I blinked and blinked but I could not see anything clearly.

I closed my eyes and rested my head in my hand. I wasn't the only one in this position because it was a test and people tend to go in this position when they feel doomed. So there was no attention drawn to me, fortunately. I opened my eyes and somehow managed to see clearly enough to complete the test. I didn't want to turn it in until the bell rang so I didn't have to get up right now. I really did not want to faint.

So the bell rang and I got up. I had to put my hand on the desk to catch myself. I'm not doing so well but I have to make it look like I'm healthy and normal. I turned in my test on my way out and walked to my locker. I was putting up my books when I felt fingers dig into my sides as if someone's trying to get my attention. I turned around and it was Sarah. She's really funny and sweet but annoys me sometimes. I turn around and smile telling her hey and asking how she's been. Not a good idea.

Usually if you ask someone how they are doing they will ask you how you are doing also. I don't like to lie, but I have to when it comes to that question. Plus, nobody wants to hear my life story or how I truly feel. Sarah invited me to her 111 year old great grandmother's birthday party. To other people, that would sound so great because who wouldn't want to meet an 111 year old? But I feel very nervous about being near food. Sarah walks off excited about the party and tells me she will text me later the details. Paul walks up to me and notices the dismay on my face. He asks me what's wrong and I tell him I have to go to a party where there will be many people. He doesn't understand my problem so I look at him and inform him that there will be food. Hopefully now he gets the picture.

I will feel so uncomfortable at this party with people shoving food in their mouths over here and over there, too. Paul asks me if it would help if he tagged along. I was so happy of this idea and so I gave him a big hug. He held on tightly and rubbed his hands on my ribs. I backed away and looked down. I couldn't help but look back up to see what his facial expression was. He looked really sad and concerned. He told me he would call me later.

As soon as I got home after school today I went straight to bed. I didn't have any energy to do anything and I told my mom I was PMSing and that I just wanted to be left alone to sleep. I actually missed my monthly this time around... No, I'm not pregnant. I guess it's possible that I'm not getting the nutrients I need. I can think the right things all I want, but doing the right things is much more difficult.

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It's finally Tuesday afternoon. Sarah called me last night and told me that the party would be a Hawaiian theme and that I should dress like I'm going to the beach. I'm very unhappy about that but at least Paul will be with me. So deciding what to wear was a very difficult thing to do. Beach wear? Swimsuits. No. Maybe a long flowy skirt and tank top. Ew, gross, my arms. Flabby. I can just wear a bright yellow t-shirt and a lei. Yes a white long skirt, yellow shirt, and a purple lei. Perfect. Almost..not quite.. I really don't want to go.

Dad knocks on my door and says Paul is here. Great. I grab my cross-over-shoulder purse and go to the door. He's wearing white shorts, a green shirt, and wearing one of those straw hats. He smiles and tells me I look fabulous and I tell dad goodbye before we walk out. I can't stand to hug anyone though since Paul felt my ribs on Monday.

We arrive at the community center where the party is being held and we walk in seeing bright colors and flowers and everything Hawaiian everywhere. Whoever decorated for this party went all out. We heard loud noise coming from a large room and Paul pointed in that direction. We walked into a room that had five long tables in it and a stage and a projector screen playing a slideshow.

Sarah walks over to greet us and thanks us for coming. She takes her to her grandmother and she was really nice. It makes me think of my grandmother, if she were alive today..

Me and Paul find a spot to sit down as some person stands on the stage to give a speech. And somebody else gives one too. The audience clapped and laughed every once in a while. All I could focus on was the food set out in the back. I was holding onto Paul's arm. And squeezed it tightly due to my nerves.

He looked at me and saw my gaze was towards the table so he looked as well. He looked at me and tapped my hand. He mouthed 'are you okay' to me. I gulped. I didn't know whether to nod or shake my head. I just looked back. He tapped my hand again and told me to look that way instead. A third person came on the stage and said a blessing over the food. Everyone got up and was smiling and talking. We were waiting in line and Paul went in front of me.

We got to the table of food and he took a plate and handed me one. I held it and looked ahead at all of the food which seemed to go on for miles and miles. I looked at the people around me and walked behind Paul. All of the food made me feel ill. There was chicken wings, beef kabobs, pineapple ham. I was just staring at the food everywhere we stopped in line and Paul said to just get what he puts on his plate. I nodded.

Paul periodically stole the food from my plate except for some pasta salad. Which he said he wanted to me to eat some. I had a few bites. Then he took the rest. We said our goodbyes and left.