waiting... | nick mara

nineteen

* .･:*:･ﾟ'✫,'✫'ﾟ･:*:･˙

i grab onto nick's hand and he leads me upstairs to zion's porch outside his room. i sit down in one of the chairs with nick sitting across from me.

the fresh air clears my thoughts, releasing all of my anger and annoyance i ever had.

i love over to nick, just looking out onto the city lights ahead of us. i take the time to notice he's wearing a red zip up jacket with black baggy pants, somehow still pulling the basic outift off.

"okay whats up," his voice bringing my eyes back up to his.

i take a deep breath in and look out to zion's amazing view of the city night lights. "i've always wanted a view like this you know."

nick removes his eyes off me and follows my eyes, "it's nice."

" yeah, i dont know, just looking how there's so much going on down there makes my problems in life seem so small," i ramble on.

silence takes over us and i turn to say something, but find he's already looking at me. "what?" is all my mind could think of saying.

nick looks back out, "just wondering why something seems off about you."

"i don't know really. its just jasmine i guess," i start to play with the tips of my fingers.

nick turns to me, "what about her?"

i let out an exhausted sigh and look back out to the night lights, "i- i dont know. she's just always on my nerves. "

"she isn't that bad," he matches his eyes to mine.

"she kind of is nick," i stand up, starting to pace, "i know she's my best friend, but shes always on my ass about everything. when i need her, shes not there. shes even been flaking on me lately and i know it's for some random dude she's sleeping with!"

nick starts to stare back down to the ground, "well maybe she's going though a lot of things. and i bet that dude isn't just a random dude."

i stare back at him, remembering seeing him buying ice cream with jasmine just yesterday. seeing them together. how much it hurt. i suck in my lips and walk up to lean against the railing, gripping it, "i don't know nick."

i shouldnt be feelings this way. why does it physically hurt? no. im with shawn. i cant be thinking these thoughts only to hurt myself even more.

nick walks over next to me, following my actions, "maybe just try to see her point of view and understand why she's acting like this."

i meet his eyes to see hope within them, comfort. i give him a small smile and nod and he wraps his arm around me, rubbing my arm to comfort me. i lean into his embrace, just enjoying this moment for as long as i can take it.

i push myself against him just enough to look him in the eyes, "hey i'm getting tired, i think i'm just gonna go find a ride home."

he removes his arms from me, removing the warmth that encased me, "what? no. no one here is going to be able to drive you home safely, just take one of z's guest rooms."

i pause for a second, "won't there be people," i lean in close to whisper, "fucking in that room though?"

nick lets out a chuckle and shakes his head, "here ill come with you to check the rooms before you sleep in one. you just have to lock it so no one will come in."

i smile and nod my head, allowing him to lead us around the upper floor where the rooms are. nick avoided all of the bedrooms except for the last one in the hallway.