The Mistress

LVI

               *Matilda*

Whoever says time heals everything wasn't right in my case, even after all these while I still feel as shitty as always
Lately I get really emotional
I cry over everything
When I accidentally broke a mug
When Nanny had to go to camp for two nights and I was stucked with sally
I even cry over accidentally spilled milk or when I can't turn on the TV
Basically everything

I try not to think too much about Felix's confession i might just start crying. Although I like to call it bluff but I know Felix enough to know he doesn't bluff

He'd rather not say anything than say things he doesn't mean.... But then he did lie to me and  said things just to get me hooked.... And this is all temporary, soon he will be gone

He didn't stop coming and it got even harder to be in the same room as him, infact he stays back till really late sitting not too far from me, pretending to be interested in my horror series, but he has also been really quiet, reserved and dull lately

Atimes I wonder how Jessica must be taking his late nights... Or does she already know that am pregnant.
Knowing that woman she may have hired a private investigator or something

I was trying to concentrate on my movie and gummy bears, when I glare at Felix and he was dozing off on the armchair with his mouth slightly opened, he must be really exhausted from working too hard.

I felt really bad for me, he has to drive to and fro three hours  after an hectic day

Without thinking I stood up and moved closer to him, maybe I was just dying to get a closer look...... I bend over his face listening to his even breathing and felt his hot breathe hit my face. His beards were coming out rough.. He hasn't been shaving. He looked really worn out, or maybe he is having problems at work

Before I could get my senses back he opened his eyes and I jerked back with a tiny scream escaping my throat, I felt so embarrassed.. Why did I even do that

"Are You okay.... " he asked looking concerned

"Ahhh yeah am good, sorry did I wake you "

"No its fine, I don't even know when I dozed off  "

"You look really tired, do you want to call Mario to come pick you up"

"No, no.. That's not necessary... I'll just get going now"

He stood up and took his jacket

"You should really get some rest"

"I will... Thanks "
Halfway to the door he turned and looked back at me

"Uhhhm Matilda, I don't know if you have any commitment on Sunday "

"No....... Why"
Is he planning another picnic

" Actually my dad has been askin to see you and I told him I would ask you about it"

"Your dad"
Felix hardly ever talks about his dead and it feels weird that he was asking to see me

"Yeah..... But it cool if you have things to do I can always come up with an excuse "

"No if he wants to see me, then yeah I should go"

"Really.... You sure"

"Yes of course"
No am not sure

"Alright.. I'll tell him you agreed, Enjoy your night Matilda "

"You too....Goodnight "

    ****

Sunday morning and I was standing in front of the mirror trying to strap my brown leather jacket on over my green stretchy flair dress