Between Two Worlds

9

He should be angry with me but instead all he says, with his back still turned, is "Go rest, child. Leave me."

But I don't think... I cannot think. The only thing that I catch myself doing is breaking down and lunging at the king, wrapping my arms around his waist (as he is much taller than I) and crying into his silk robe. It's not because I feel sorry for myself, but for him. I had no idea his past had been so tragic. Worse than mine even. Forget being proper. I couldn't care less. I squeeze his torso and he seems taken aback.

(She doesn't know this, but he has already shed a couple tears)

He turns so that my head is against his chest. I feel his hand rest on my head and the other on my back.

He knows why I am crying, which is why he doesn't speak.

I just let myself weep into his cloak, all of my feelings; infinite apologies shedding from my eyes and he knows this...

I feel his fingers hold me to him in comfort. His compassion just makes me feel more awful about making him so hurt...

This has ripped me apart. All my sympathy floods inside me until it leaks out as salt water. All I want to do is curl up against him like a child when her father returns from war; never wanting to leave again.

After I cry myself dry, that takes a few minutes, he bends down to where he is eye level with me, his eyes still beautiful but red where they were once white, a trail of pain left down his cheek. "You are a gentle soul, Lady Vilora. Kind and caring. Cherish that."

I close my eyes, feeling his hands on either side of my face, the smooth and warm skin of his fingers on my dirty cheeks.

"Enough tears," he says softly and wipes away one on my cheek with a tender touch of his finger. Great. Now he has seen me at my most vulnerable. Perhaps the most vulnerable I have ever been in my life. "Do not dwell in those who are past us, poikaer. Especially when they already lie on someone else's shoulders." (pure one)

I don't speak, but breathe, attempting to stay strong.

He makes a sympathetic smile. "Get some sleep, dear one," he mutters quietly to me.

I nod, like a child after a nightmare and let him help me to stand as he does. I leave his study with a heavy heart, folding my arms around each other and trying to contain the sorrow I feel. I don't know how I will sleep tonight.

I walk through the empty kingdom that is silent. The huge caverns surround me with loneliness. All that can be heard are my footsteps on the stone. I breathe, short and shaky breaths, feeling the burning behind my eyes that wants to create more tears. But I try to forget it... try to.

I shut my eyes and swallow the lump in my throat. Did I leave him too early or should I have left him alone? I am sure he wants to be in solitude... I would if this had happened...

I hear distant laughter and slurred speech. Oh yes those must be the men that have been staying here for the past couple of days. Men from the mountains I think they are, journeying to their kin in Dale. Thranduil isn't too easy to let people camp in his kingdom but there was something about a debt he didn't tell me. The king's business I suppose. But either way they had to stay here...

I remember one of them, didn't know his name, had asked to get me a drink but I turned him down, easily. He didn't like that but I didn't really care.

As my feet step on the stone stairs I hear the laughter getting close. They walk behind me through the hallways.

And as I come to the square that splits into two different stair cases I hear him call, "My lady!" in a strange way, the speech rather lazy.

I turn around, heaving a sigh. The three of them approach me and I realize I left my weapons (and my chest plate) in the armory so I have nothing to threaten them with.