The Insanity of a Wallflower

Message from Author

03/24/2020
Dear Readers,

Ending this story last July 2019 was hard. Probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. Letting you guys know how broken and drowning I was helped me some, so many of you stood by my side, sending encouraging messages to help. But still the doubt, the darkness, the terror I had lost all of my work ate at me. I tried to go through my days and weeks but everything just felt grueling. Writing was my dream. This book always something I wanted published but struggled to get written down between the few hours I had free in my life. And with the thefts obviously came the end to it all.

Something I am not sure my Wattpad users are aware of, I am also a comic artist on a few sites like Webtoons, DeviantArt and Imgur. I don't normally cross my works together (though I do have readers who know of all platforms) I digitally draw comics on the internet and have a good following there. I opened up about what was happening with my stories, the thefts and plagiarisms, basically the hole I found myself in, and in a shocking response I had thousands of messages and a lot of other authors themselves reaching out to me.

A lot of people told me not to remove this, to keep working on these stories and to not let those who stole my work also steal my dream. Where before I thought my novel wouldn't be published with the amount of thefts, I was corrected that most publishing houses edit your drafts endlessly anyways- so the final product will still be unique. And even if I don't use a publishing house but self-publish through Amazon and Kindle- hell even Wattpad if I ever get famous enough- I could keep my stories the same (edited obviously) and it could still succeed there/here- thefts be damned.

On top of that, the messages and comments on Wattpad made me want to keep fighting. The kind words, the understanding, it was so heartfelt but liberating to see really how much this story and MYSELF mean to you guys. I didn't want to let any of you down, and you all assured me I hadn't. Other people assured me I could still keep these stories up, keeping writing them, and I'd still have a chance to publish them (granted, those thefts and plagiarism really did damage my work- I'm not trying to downplay that). But the end is the same. I can still fight for my dreams.

I am a bit shocked by this, the literal thousands of messages I have received on my comic sites, and I am feeling both optimistic and unsure. At least knowing all the work I've put into this book, even with the thefts, wasn't all for nothing- it's something that has truly felt like the weight of the world has fallen from my shoulders.

What does that mean for "Just Smile and Nod"?

My writing has grown so much thanks to the readers here. I am terribly dyslexic. My first drafts of my novels were so riddled with misspellings and entirely wrong words (My mind thought some words said something else entirety, ooops) have been correct and edited by you guys. In writing on Wattpad, my ability to tell stories and to catch my own errors has completely evolved and changed for the better. I truly, from the bottom of my heart, can say I wouldn't be anywhere near the level of writing I'm at now without your advice, encouragement, comments, discussions, and questions.

So, with the backing of so many of other authors telling me I can still publish, my novels aren't for nothing- I am going to finish this story. Nothing is official with me though when it comes to timelines. Life is too hectic, feeling betrayed by the thefts of my work still hurts, but I am now hopeful that even if/when future thefts happen, I can still keep my head held high and write.

So here is to the next chapter. Here is to the hard work we all have put into this book.

If it wasn't for people like you guys, I would have ended this dream.

-Helium

P.S- I believe I will change the name of this story. I have seen A LOT of recommendations that its title doesn't match the actual story- just that small part in the very beginning. Truth be told I actually have never liked "Just smile and Nod" I just threw that in there since I was too lazy to think of a name. It's a very common phrases, doesn't stand out, and might be confusing in the publishing game (if I get there) as it's not unique in the slightest. Which is ironic as I keep hearing my story is pretty unique (which I hoped it was).

The only other name I was going to give this story, perhaps still might, is "The Insanity of a Wallflower".

Still vague, I know, but vagueness can be nice in my opinion. With my work I never want to tell something flat out, as I'm sure you all have noticed. Thoughts on this title? Maybe a slightly different version of it? Other names in general if you don't like this at all?

Edit- the name change is official. Cover has been updated too.