The Insanity of a Wallflower

Black Ink XXIII

At first I was too stunned to think. Hayden's lips moved firmly over mine. He had pushed me back down on the bed and held a hand firmly above my head. He deepened the kiss with advantage at my lack of refusal, his other hand tightening at the back of my neck. For a moment, I almost kissed back- I don't know why. The roaring heart beat? The smile he had shown earlier still lodge in my head, playing over and over again? The fact that kissing him felt betrayingly good.

But I wouldn't let those chaotic thoughts win. I snapped away from the stupor almost as instantly as I bit his lip. Hard.  He pulled back rapidly in response, molten metal eyes glaring down at me.

"What the fùck was that for?" He ran a tongue over the red gouge. I was pleased to note he was as breathless as I was so I wouldn't look like such fool. 

"What was that for?! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! You're kissing me!"

He seemed unaffected by such logic. "And?"

I must have looked ready to blow a fuse for he instantly cut me off. "I already told you, you need to be trained. I'm not going to pretend to date a girl who doesn't even know how to kiss without tearing out the skin of the other person."

"I didn't agree to dating!" I practically yelled, finally realizing he was still over me on the bed, mere inches away as he glared at me like I was some tedious hindrance.

"Alys. Shut up. Kiss me back and I'll show you how to make it look real."

"No!" I groaned. He titled his head watching me with a bland expression. I mentally jabbed out those eyes that seemed to say Why are you so flustered? Your kiss was pathetic.

"Alys," Hayden gazed down at me, "Will Doctor Augustine know the moment I kiss you in front of her, we have never truly kissed before?"

I gaped at his words, "Why do you just keep disregarding my statement that WE ARE NOT DATING."

"Because we have to, you idiot." He snarled coldly, "You see, I didn't know going into this that a State Certified Physiatrist, who was with CHILD FÙCKING SERVICES and who has connections to many parts of the government, would be suddenly deciding to monitor this mural!"

I quieted guiltily. "I didn't know either. I'm... I'm sorry."

His jaw clenched a little tighter but then he finally sighed. "She was right when she enquired about why I was doing this mural. I HAD to have a reason. And what is it, Alys?"

I opened my mouth, but then closed it. We couldn't say revenge, obviously. So what was it? I covered my eyes with my arms, not wanting to admit defeat... but I dreadfully realized he was right.

Augustine was right;

Hayden had great grades; he didn't need this for a scholarship.

Hayden had no art skills; he didn't need this for a fun.

Hayden owed no one anything; he wasn't doing this for a favor.

The only option left, even as incompatible as we were, was he was doing this for me.

She might have laughed and humiliated me at the mere idea Hayden cared for me, but I realized fearfully it was the only lie we could work off of. None of the others had any truth to them. The reasoning Hayden would feasibly work on this mural was either for me...or ulterior motives. And if we didn't claim the first, everyone- not just Augustine- would realize the second.