Under My Skin (on hold)

Chapter 8- Evil Angel

The red headed young woman sat at her work desk at home but she was staring out the large bay window looking out into the woods. She brushed a lock of wavy hair away from her face and she sighed. Still sitting next to her computer was a framed picture of her and her ex fiancée Benjamin almost 5 years ago. She clearly remembers the day when she left him at the altar and said to his face she couldn't marry him because she didn't love him.

Which, in fact, was a blatant lie.

Wedding jitters had more of an impact on her than anyone in the church. She loved Benjamin more than anything in the world and her intrusive thoughts told her the marriage wouldn't last, that he was going to change and that she would be broken hearted. So she broke his, and hers too. Two birds with one stone.

It had haunted her day and night after their wedding day that she flushed down the toilet. Along with it went all of her hopes and dreams with Benjamin. She will always remember her last words to him and the way he stood at the church doors, waiting for her to come back, astonished and hurt.

"Benjamin, I don't love you!" She yelled.

"What?! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?! Were you lying to me this whole time about what we had, or was it your goal to lead me on until our wedding day?! That's so mean!" He cried.

"Ben, you don't understand-"

"What is there to understand? You said you didn't love me, I think that's pretty plain and simple."

"No. Ben, you don't understand that everything we had was real, but I don't love you now like I did then. I'm sorry, I didn't want it to end like this. I can't--" She wiped tears from her eyes, makeup running down her face that had taken over an hour to perfect, all for nothing.

"I didn't want it to end like this either." he said quietly, his throat suddenly tight and his body was overcome with pain.

"I love you so much, Jessica." he called out, but it was too late. She was already running down the sidewalk.

(Wattpad wouldn't let me undo italics here, sorry. And I have no idea why it's in bold I'm sorry)

Jessica snapped out of her trance as she turned the picture away from her. She picked up the phone but soon put it down and picked up her car keys in the metal bowl beside the front door. She hadn't spoken a word to Ben since that day. He sent her things over in a shipping box, she didn't even pick up her things from their house. They hadn't had a clean break and have had a bad relationship since.

At that point in their lives, the band had just gotten signed and things were picking up the pace. She was not forgotten, as he wrote many songs and performed them on tour about his anger and feelings of betrayal towards her. She hadn't forgotten either, she still bought every album and went to their concerts. She followed the band religiously, thinking that this is the way she could be close to Ben since she loved him more than anything still.

She hadn't gotten the guts to go and see him after the dust had settled, but now she had them. It was time for the two hopeless romantics to meet again, because following the band wasn't enough to fill the Ben sized hole in her heart. It never was.

She took a long breath and held it in for a second, letting it out slowly. She knew she was continuing a fight that was long pushed aside, and she knew she wouldn't win. She knew she was licked before she even got in the car and left, but still she walked towards the car. Since she was still in touch somewhat with the rest of the band, he knew the general vicinity of his house. It wouldn't be too hard to find him when she got there.

She left her woodsy Virginia home and was ready to make the drive up to Northern Pennsylvania. She knew once she was on the road, she was not going to turn back, as much as she would want to. It was time to hand this, and get a grip on things. The only thing she was afraid of was how Benjamin would react. She still loved him and even though she made the biggest mistake of her life leaving him, she still hoped he wouldn't shut her away like he did with everybody.

Ben was a true believer that nothing could possibly get worse after the betrayal he experienced at the altar. Not only did the media hear about it, the fans started getting on him about it along with Jessica's friends.

They all made it seem like he walked out on her, or he caused her to walk out, and it was all his fault either way. He couldn't stand living in the same town as her after what she did to him, the air about him felt like a cage.

There was so much pressure on him along with bad publicity that he just needed to get away. He packed up his truck and Lainey, who was just a puppy at the time, and he left town for his home state.

Leaving is the hardest damned thing to do until you leave, then it's the easiest thing in the world.

Which was exactly how Ben felt in the car, driving up the interstate. Lainey was sitting on the bench seat next to him, just barely tall enough to see out the window. Occasionally, she would climb onto Ben's lap and put her paws on the steering wheel where Ben's hands were and look out, pleased, and that made him happy. It was the little bit of happiness he got from his fluff ball of a dog that gave him motivation to keep driving and start new.

He needed that bit of unconditional joy and love from his dog to keep him moving. She had no idea what was going on and yet she was so ecstatic to be with Ben. At the moment he felt like no one wanted him, he knew Lainey would always be there for him to provide fluffy assistance.

Due to these unforeseen circumstances, he put Jessica in his rear view mirror and waited for his emotions to catch up to his actions.

They never did.