Under My Skin (on hold)

Chapter 3- Crawl

Bethany felt too violently and Benjamin didn't feel enough. That was the factor that separated them the most, more than they knew it did. Over everything, that was it and nothing else mattered, the petty things they fought over constantly. It was never about those things, but they didn't know it yet.

Bethany worked at the local music shop as her side job from being the assistant manager of a huge rock club downtown. She was often home late and when she wanted to sleep, Ben was up making a racket because he's lost the will to get a good night's rest. A lot of the time, she was stressed out to the point of tears because some shows she booked were downright terrible or some kid got hurt in the mosh pit and she felt like the weight of the world was on her shoulders.

Ben felt the same way. He had a band and a fanbase that all looked up to him when they were down. He had to write hit songs, pretty much be a manager to their tours and shows and he was responsible for the health and welfare of the band. He often felt like he was always doing someone else's work for them, and he had to do it all himself with no help from anybody. When things got rough, the media always pointed the blame to him first and he didn't want to disappoint anybody or set a bad example. Letting the people he cared about down was one of the hardest things he's ever had to go through and he doesn't like to feel like that. It was one of the last things he plans on doing, but sometimes it ends up as first.

He was laying on his bed as he was staring at the ceiling above. He didn't bother changing out of his clothes from the day since he wasn't going to get much sleep from the start. The clock beside him was flashing red numbers that read 2:37 A. M., the numbers meaning nothing to him. The night had only just begun.

Lainey had adapted to his sleep schedule, or rather a lack of one. She jumped up on the bed and curled up in his side, her head resting on his shoulder. He reached a hand over and gave her a few scratches on her back, her thick fur shedding all over the place. Lainey was the only girl he would ever love forever. She was always there for him and she knew when Ben needed to be alone and when he needed company. She was his best friend and he was hers.

Ben suddenly had an idea and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Her head perked up and he looked back at her while grabbing his car keys.

"Come on, Lainey. We're going for a drive."

They walked out to his truck together and Lainey jumped in the passenger's seat next to him. He turned the keys in the ignition and the old engine sputtered then roared to life. He backed out of his driveway and drove down the road, everything else silent. He turned on the radio, the low volume accompanying them on their journey to somewhere only Ben knew, and he didn't exactly know.

He got on the highway and drove along, looking at the scenery along the side of the road. Ben was fighting. He was holding on and trying to push through, and he tried really hard. He wanted to get to the end and say he lived through it, but it was just getting harder and harder. He felt like just a shadow of himself, there, but disappears when the light isn't around to make him appear. He felt like nothing more than invisible.

He kept fighting and fighting, but he was getting sick of having to try so hard to make it through. This could, quite possibly, be the end of Ben as we know it.

Bethany had just arrived home from The Atomic Bomb, the club she was the assistant manager of and she was exhausted. The band that played, Six Feet Underdog, had been booked as the main act. They were a huge band and played for close to two and a half hours, and she had to stay long afterwards to clean up and get all the paperwork together. The gig made a lot of money for them, but Bethany was tired. She was just... tired.

It was almost three in the morning when she got home. She had just gotten out of her car and everything was pitch black. Nothing else made a sound except for Ben coming out of his house with Lainey. He got in his truck and drove away and she didn't see him for a few days. It's not like she was worried about him. She didn't have any intention of going after him, but it just seemed weird to her. All of it.

From what she's known, he doesn't sleep. He's going to crash soon, and everything is going to come down on him. The levee that is in his brain that's separating him from his feelings is going to flood him with all the emotions he shoved down and he won't be able to handle any of it. That is what she's worried about, because she knows it'll happen to her too.

Bethany was inside her house and she found it hard to walk up the stairs. She was truly done with everything at the moment. She wasn't able to handle much more in her life right now. So, she stepped inside her house, closed the door and slowly slid down it until she reached the floor. She didn't want to cry and she fought the tears back but she reluctantly let one slide. Then the waterworks came and she wasn't ready for the attack of emotions she was feeling.

She was feeling too much. And Ben, he wanted to feel something. Something good, something that wouldn't hurt him for a change. But for now, all he was, was numb. And, it turned out, so was Bethany.