Under My Skin (on hold)

Chapter 18- Letting Go

The day was still cold, but the sun was out. That alone was motivation for Ben to get outside and play with Lainey. He was throwing a tennis ball for her to catch, and she would always happily bring it back to him. Ben would hold her collar gently but firmly when he saw a car coming down the road, to prevent her from chasing after it.

For a few more times, he threw the ball back and forth for her. On the last time, the ball rolled just a bit too far out of the yard and Lainey went to retrieve it. Ben saw the car coming and ran out after her. He recognized the car, too, it was Jessica's car.

She braked as hard as she could and swerved to avoid the two, but was moving slowly when she hit them. In the middle of the road, she got out of the car and rushed over to her ex and his dog.

"BEN! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?! OH MY GOD, I TRIED TO STOP-"

"YOU RAN OVER MY DOG!" Ben screamed at Jessica and at Drake, who was exiting the car as well.

"I'M SORRY! I CAME OVER TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT WHAT DRAKE DID TO YOU, AND TO WORK THINGS OUT, I DIDN'T MEAN TO-"

"BE QUIET, HELP ME GET HER TO THE VET!" Ben replied, blocking out his own scrapes and bruises, and was most concerned about the well being of his dog, whom he had raised since she was a puppy.

"WAIT, BEN! LET ME COME WITH YOU!" Jessica offered.

"NO, YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH!"

He lifted the dog into the front seat of the truck after he ran inside and got his car keys. Not bothering where Jessica and Drake were, he backed out of the driveway quickly and sped down the road.

He had one hand on the wheel and the other holding Lainey's paw, his right foot pressed down on the pedal. He saw in the rear view mirror Jessica's car, following suit behind him.

At the vet, he came in with Lainey in his arms, anxious for help from somebody. The vet came out and took the dog from him and started asking him questions. He rushed all of his answers, desperate for his dog to be okay. He was shaking with anger and sadness, and the vet took Lainey in the emergency room to start treatment.

Ben turned to Jessica and Drake and exploded.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"I'M SORRY, BEN!"

"SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT! YOU RAN OVER MY DOG, BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOUR EX DID TO ME OVER NOTHING I DID TO YOU, OR HIM! JESSICA, IT ALL LEADS BACK TO YOU TWO! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, MY DOG MIGHT NOT MAKE IT!"

"BEN!" Jessica yelled. "I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH DRAKE COMING AFTER YOU! I AM NOT GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM! ALL I WANTED WAS TO FIGURE THINGS OUT WITH YOU, AND YOU ARE MAKING IT SO DIFFICULT FOR ME TO GET BACK TO YOU!!"

"I WANTED YOU! THAT IS ALL I WANTED!! DON'T TELL ME HOW HARD IT IS TO GET TO ME WHEN YOU WERE ALWAYS JUST A LITTLE TOO FAR OUT OF MY LIMIT!"

The receptionist told them they needed to break the argument up. Ben was the first to leave the room, with a cigarette between his teeth. He burst out of the vet, the door slamming closed behind him. In the cold air, he saw his breath in front of him which soon turned to smoke.

A few minutes later, after he overheard Drake and Jessica's conversation, the door opened and she stepped out. She quietly said to him without looking in his eyes

"I still want you to quit."

"I tried, Jessica. I tried. But I realized I needed to quit you instead."

"So you're just going to give up without even trying to start over again with me?"

"Again, I tried. I tried really hard." He said, the hurt obvious in his voice. He threw the cigarette on the ground, stepped on it with the toe of his sneaker and pulled out another from the pack.

"But things didn't go the way that I planned."

There was a moment of silence in reverence for the life they had, that they both knew just died. Nobody had told them they'd lose in the first round, that the fight was fixed, but they fought until the end anyway.

"You know, I wish that we had gotten married. That was my fault, I know. But maybe things were meant to be this way. Maybe it's time for us to go our separate ways." Jessica said, a lump in her throat. She still loved Benjamin, but knew this was the right thing to do.

"I'll never forget you. But it's time to let go." Ben confirmed.

"And I'm sorry about your dog. I'll stay until we know if she's okay."

"No." Ben decided.

"No?!" Jessica said, confused.

"No. I don't want you to stay. It's better off this way. It's over between us, and the longer you say, the more it hurts and the more we'll rethink things. So just go, and I swear it'll be alright."

"I don't want to leave you alone."

"Jeremiah will be here any minute now. Please, I just need you to go."

"Okay. I will."

Jessica went inside and got Drake, and they walked out of the vet, past him and to Jessica's car. Ben finished his second cigarette and tossed it out. Before he turned and went inside, he noticed that Jessica was running towards him.

"Jessica-" he began to say, now slightly angry she won't leave. Before he could get out any more than that, she stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his, holding his face with her cheeks.

When she pulled away, she bit her lip and looked into his eyes, hoping for him to say something.

"Jessica, I don't know what you expected from that. Your lipstick tastes like acid rain. It's just not as sweet as it used to be." Ben said coldly and walked back inside the veterinarian. Jessica was stunned, how that was how it ended. She realized she should have walked away like he said, but she would kick herself later for not feeling the taste of his lips one last time.

Her heart dropped, as it was apparent he didn't feel anything for her anymore. She walked back to her car and drove away. At her house, she kicked Drake out of the car to get his car and go home, as she was also ready to make the drive back to her own home. This wasn't it anymore. It was about time she let things go, too. If it was possible for Benjamin, it's more than possible for her.

At the veterinary hospital, Ben sat waiting for hours more, holding Lainey's collar in his hands. Jeremiah did come, and he sat wordless next to his despairing comrade. Just having his best friend there next to him made it much more bearable if it did come down to the worst case scenario Ben had been replaying in his head.

When the door swung open, the two looked up at the smiling vet.

"Lainey's going to be just fine." She said confidently. Ben let out a huge sigh of relief that he had been holding in and Jeremiah helped him up to to see her.

Jeremiah found it amazing that Ben could be a complete mess one moment, but leave him with his dog for five minutes and he looks exponentially better. He got to see it happen once more. Lainey's head perked up when the two entered the room and Ben instantly smiled. He loosened her collar and slipped it around her furry neck, and began running his fingers slowly through her coat.

"Hey Lainey. You're gonna be just fine, I promise. We'll be home soon, girl. We will."

Lainey licked his hand and then his nose, and Ben knew that things were going to be okay, like he promised himself they had to be.