Under My Skin (on hold)

Chapter 4- Give Me a Sign

It was dawn when Benjamin arrived home with Lainey. He had taken a nice long drive to be alone with his thoughts, and they subsided until he pulled into his driveway. Lainey hopped out of his truck, happy that she got to stick her head out the window on the highway, but Ben was anything but happy. When he got out of his car and put the keys in his canvas jacket pocket, he looked over, the drummer of his band standing over with Bethany.

Not only was he standing there, one arm was around her waist and the other hand was resting lovingly on her cheek. Her hand was in his chest, not in a way telling him to back off, but almost like she was admiring his muscles. her other hand was on his shoulder and they were kissing. Not some petty kiss but it was a full on make out, and Benjamin was freaking out.

Ben was taken aback at first. He wasn't sure what to do once he realized what was going on. He shrieked, not expecting what he was seeing, and he leaned back on his car, his right hand clutching his chest like he was having chest pains. His eyes were as wide as the moon and he was suddenly very pale. This was one of those times he wished he still had his inhaler from when he was a teenager in high school.

Jeremiah, his drummer for his band Burying the Broken and Bethany turned around, breaking the kiss but not their position, to face Benjamin, where the scream came from. Bethany was just pissed that he interrupted their kiss, Jeremiah was pissed that Benjamin was even there and wondering why he was, and Benjamin was pissed that he had no idea his drummer was dating his worst enemy. It was a triangle of anger and confusion.

"BEN, WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Jeremiah yelled.

"JEREMIAH, WHAT THE HELL?! YOU'RE DATING BETHANY?!" Ben screeched.

"JEREMIAH?! YOU KNOW BENJAMIN?!" Bethany spat at Ben's name.

"YEAH, IM THE DRUMMER FOR HIS BAND! HOW DO YOU KNOW HIM?!"

"HES MY NEIGHBOR AND MY WORST ENEMY! WHAT THE HELL?!"

"It looks like we have some explaining to do, HUH?" Jeremiah shot a glance over to Ben.

"I need a drink." Ben muttered.

"Yeah, me too!" Jeremiah cried out.

The three of them regrouped in Ben's kitchen, Ben pouring Jeremiah a drink, getting out a beer for Bethany and when he went to get himself a drink, he was about to pour the bottle into a glass when he realized there was just the right amount to drink straight from it. He took some heavy swigs from the neck of the bottle and sat himself down at the table before them.

"Okay Jer. I know you keep to yourself. I also knew you were dating a new girl but I had no idea it was her. Usually you wold mention a name but you didn't. Why was this such a secret?"

"She complained about her neighbor and he sounded like you. I wasn't going to bring anything up."

"Is that really all?"

"Yeah Ben." Jeremiah responded, downing his glass in a swig. Ben wasn't generous with his liquor.

"Whatever. We'll talk later." Ben brushed off, knowing that wasn't the end of that conversation. He turned to Bethany.

"And you?"

"I knew he was in a band. I knew you were in a band. I didn't want to ruin our hatred because if I knew you were in the same band, I'd have to be nice to you."

"Wow, okay. You two obviously are a perfect match. You hate me just as much as I do myself."

"Wow." Bethany began as she stood up from the table. "You're pitiful."

There was something buried deep in her words that hit him harder than it should have. He was all alone in his house again and he took the last gulp of the bottle. He tossed it in the trash and ran his hands through his hair. Out his front window he saw Jeremiah and Bethany in each other's embrace lovingly in his front yard.

He was jealous that they weren't alone in the world. And that's what hit him the most. The levee in his mind had fractured. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, he slumped to the ground, head against the wall titled back, and he let the first year roll down his cheek and land on his cotton shirt.

The first year was the gateway to the second tear, the third and the hundredth. he cried and cried until his eyes were red and swollen and he couldn't breathe out of his nose. He bawled like a child, shoulders shaking violently up and down. The sleeve of his shirt was soaked with snot and tears, leaving dark sections on his jeans. Lainey didn't come close until he was done sobbing. She had never ever seen him like this.

The last tear rolled down his face and he lifted his head back up from his knees. He took a few deep breaths, regaining the ability to feel something, at least for the moment. Lainey brought him a box of tissues and she sat next to him, licking the last salty tear off of his increasingly red cheek. She rested her head on his lap and he blew his nose with one hand, tossing the tissue aside, and letting his hand get lost in her fur.

This was the sign he was looking so desperately for.

And he felt better.