Hidden Scars (Kim Taehyung)

page 11 - nervous

Page 11

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Dear Hidden Scars,

Seeing you in front of me felt like someone had slapped me hard right in the face. It was difficult to mask my emotions but i had to.

I dont want you to see what was really i felt right now.

If you feel it, i am losing again.

lose.

"I-It's been a while," you said while giving me a subtle smile.

"Yeah," I replied.

I want to run away. I want to run away and escape from you. I am still not ready. I am still not ready to talk to you.

I want to go back from the past that i am the only one who's looking you— staring at you

Your eyes. I used to loved it but now, i hate it. I saw the genuinely happiness on it because of that guy.

My train of thought dissolved into thin air when you suddenly called my name.

"Taehyung"

I missed it. I missed your voice calling my name.. but... at the same time i hate it.

It felt strange.

It was as if I was back to the time when we were still joking about how we should call each other. My name sounded different when you were the one saying on it.

Maybe it was just me, but you made me it sounded special.

There was a minute-long silence between us. It was uncomfortable and awkward, yet it felt familiar. The way you play with your thumb, how you kept on looking to the right side when you are nervous and how you purse your lips when you want to say something but can't....

they were kind of of nostalgic.

"Do you have something to tell me?" I bravely asked and I wished I could take it back.

You look at me and the agitation you had a while ago slowly dissipated. Even though I wanted to run away, I knew it would just get harder to speak with you if I kept on evading this situation.

Maybe this was the right time to face you.

"Yes," you said softly as you looked straight to my eyes.

"I have a lot to tell you."

"I...I see...," i replied.

"Let's meet tomorrow."

I stopped.

"Why tomorrow? Why not now?" I asked.

"I can't,"you replied. There was a look of guilt and sadness in your eyes.

"He'll be here in a minute."

Right. You were waiting for him. He's your priority right now. Not me. But hearing it straight from you made it more painful.

I am always telling to myself that there is no have a chance to bring the back the way we used to. I should move on. I should forget about you. But a simple interaction like this almost made me want to believe that there could be still a slim chance.

Almost. Because i also know I don't have the right to interfere with someone's happiness.

These false hopes were the reason why I got hurt. I got hopes up, expecting that there was something between us, but it turned out I was wrong.

I breathed deeply to keep myself calm.

"Right," I nodded.

"See you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

After that, as you walk from your table its like as you walk away from me, again.

And hurtfully, i couldn't stop you and let you walk away.

nervously,
Taehyung.