Page 04 - devastated

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by aquamaerine

by aquamaerine

Page 04

___________

Dear Hidden Scars,

I continued to drink my coffee again as i look up the girl, eating happily.

Staring her makes my feelings overwhelmed somehow.

She is eating like she doesn't care about what might say.

I admit it, she's cute while eating.

While staring her, my eyes suddenly caught you with him.

Maybe after all, i deserve all of these, right?

That feeling that i want to fight more but i dont know what i'm going to fight for because i never have you. Never. Never be mine.

This is so fuck up.

I'm useless.

I'm worthless.

"No offense sir but you know, you look like shit, right now. You know staring is rude," said the girl while eating.

"Just shut up. You dont know anything," i said rudely.

I cant stop myself for being rude and mean right now.

No one cares about me. No one. I'm so fucked up. I'm so mess.

No one knows how i feel right now. I'm just a guy, questioning myself why i'm not really enough.

"I know i don't know anything what just happened to you, but if you really cant take anymore, if you really cant stop the heavy feelings to your inside, leave this place. You are just hurting yourself more."

I hate to admit it but all she just said was right.

She's right.

I was about to leave but the girl I was sharing the table, accidentally elbowed the saucer and it fell on the floor in shattered pieces. That caught the attention of customers nearby... including you.

I immediately bowed my head and hide my face into my laptop.

I was afraid to that you would see me here. I was afraid to see your expression. I was afraid....

....to face the present you.

"Oh my god, Sir, I'm so—"

The girl who broke the plate must have seen me crying and hurting more again. When i learned about her year ago, i just cried for three to four seconds. However, the pain i tried to hide, to quell and push at the back of my mind for a long time began to ripple.

I wanted to hold my tears because i'm so tired crying on you but i couldn't stop them this time.

Devastated,
Taehyung.