Hidden Scars (Kim Taehyung)

Page 08 - looking forward

Page 08

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Dear Hidden Scars,

A long silence came into my bedroom.

Jungkook looking at me with a pity on his eyes.

I look him back and smiled after that. I looked away and continue drinking my soju.

We are here in my bedroom with some bears,soju and grilled meat.

Jungkook was the only who knows about you. Everything. He is the only one who i could tell about how i really liked you. How really crazy i am to you. And i know you already know him. You already met him once.

Jungkook is my only bestfriend. He is my partners in crime, my childhood and he is like a brother to me.

Jungkook sighed and strums his guitar so that the atmosphere will be slightly light. He knows that i have a problem right now and he understand it.

While strumming his guitar, a memories flash into my mind.
Our memories.

And makes me calm somehow.

I don't how to start with this conversation with him. I know he had also a problem. I know he is hurting right now but he is pretending to be fine, to be strong.

Jungkook stops to strum the guitar and sighed. After that he look at me again and ready to say something.

"You look like shi— no, we both look like shit," he said while opening the can bear.

He laughed bitterly.

"But what happened now? With her?Mind to share anything? I've been in Korea for almost a year. I'm sorry if i don't have the chance to contact you. A shit happened,there y'know."

Before i'm going to say something, i drink my soju.

"He finally found the right man for him," i said.

A long silence came into my room.

"Tha—" He never continued what he said instead of that, he continuesly drink his can bear.

"We're both unlucky when it comes to love, huh?" he said.

"We are really meant into that."

Instead of being sad or what, i laughed. Maybe he is right. We are indeed both unlucky when it comes to love.

"Then what happened?" he muttered.

"After that, well, i am stuck here in my own place. I still can't let go. I want to but..."

"I know you can... you just still holding on to the memories— to her," he said directly.

"Even you are saying, you want to move on or let go of her, i know deep inside you still holding on something. There is something into your sides that keep pulling you. We're both fuck when it comes to love but i don't want to see you more hurting because of girl. I don't want to see you, suffering. I can't erased the pain into your heart, dude but i hope you will be better soon. I know you will be. I know," he continued.

He drink his bear once more and the last thing he just said keep replaying to my mind.

"You can't really move on if you keep on looking back. Look in front of you and move forward, even if you have to start with small and slow steps."

"Acceptance will set you free."

He smiled at me and begin to strum his guitar again. I smiled back and get my guitar and strum it too.

I closed my eyes and feel the melancholy of the sounds of guitar.

What Jungkook said made me realized something. While strumming, a picture of you flashed into my mind.

I don't know if I am really ready but i know one day, i need to face you. The present you and then, finally, i will set myself free to the past of ours.

Looking forward,
Taehyung.