Expensive Profit!

EP23- My Pain.

"Can i ask you something ace?"

Agad siyang lumingon sakin. Andito kami ngayon sa pinagdalhan niya sakin last time kung saan kita ang city lights and view.

Nag ka yayaan kami dito dahil pareho pa naming ayaw umuwi.

"What's with the serious face?"patawa niyang sabi.

Pero binawi rin niya ang ngiti niya ng Diko siya sinagot at matiim lang syang tinignan.

"Okay. What is it?"

Huminga ako ng malalim.

"Pano mo nagustuhan ang kapatid ko?"

Bahagya siyang ngumiti at tumingin sa malayo.

"Era is a very sweet girl. But she's fragile inside. When i met her she was just like you"

tumingin siya sakin habang nag kukuwento.

"She tends to do what ever she wants, even if her parents doesnt allow her to do so. I also met her at the park near the school, She was a happy kid. Running everywhere, playing all the time. At her age she still plays. Everyday after school I'm seeing her happily doing her thing at the park. At first i saw you on her. So i decided to make friends with her"

Dahil pala sakin kaya niya kinaibigan si era?

"We've been together ever since. And then one day something happened. Without a word Bigla nalang siya hindi nag pakita sakin. By that time i was so desperate to see her, i have a lot of questions in my mind. Kung nasaan naba siya, bakit bigla siyang nawala, bakit bigla niya akong di kinausap. Kahit sa school hindi siya pumapasok. I was scared to be left alone by her, i realized back then that i fall for her. I don't know kung ano ang nangyare sakin, basta ang alam ko lang sanay nako na andyan siya. Nalulungkot ako kapag hindi ko siya nakikita, walang araw na hindi ko siya iniisip kahit magkasama lang kaming dalawa. The next thing i knew, I can't live without her anymore. So i went to her house and talk with her parents and your dad told me about what happened to her."

"What happened?"

"She was hospitalized. It broke my seeing her weak. Sabi nila mahina daw ang puso niya. So the reason why she was doing everything that she wants to do is because time will come she might not gonna be able to do it. Her positive personality makes me love her. I accepted everything about her even if one day she could just leave me again. The only thing that i want in life is to be with her, i wanna protect her and stay by her side."

Ewan ko pero parang may kumurot sa puso ko ng biglang tumulo ng luha ni ace, if this isnt love then i don't know what is.

I felt guilty, ganun pala kalalim ang pag mamahal niya kay era. And yet pinaghiwalay ko sila because I'm being selfish.

Niyakap ko siya, kahit masakit para sakin na malamang may ibang mahal ang mahal ko. Tatanggapin ko, ayokong maging hadlang sakanilang dalawa.

Mahal kita ace :(

Tinitigan ko siya sa mukha, para bang yun na ang huling beses na gagawin ko yun.

Nakita ko naman ang pag tataka sa mga mata niya.

"Do you still remember the day na umalis ka papuntang states?"

Bahagya siyang tumango.

"Sinabi ko na... Gusto kita diba?

Seryoso lang siyang nakatingin sakin.

"hanggang ngayon gusto parin kita" nakangiti kong pag amin sakanya.

" I've waited for you for sooo long. Hoping na babalik ka para sakin. At bumalik ka nga, i was so happy to see your face again"

Hinawakan ko ang pisngi niya. Hinawakan din niya ang kamay ko.

"But i can't like you anymore, i realized na hindi na tayo mga bata pa. You maybe my first love but I'm not yours."

Mapait akong ngumiti. Na tila nag pa worry sakanya.

"Shina.."

Umiling lang ako dahil ayoko muna siyang mag salita. Kailangan ko sabihin lahat ng nararamdaman ko sakanya ngayon. Hindi ko na to pwedeng itago pa.

"I am so jealous kapag kasama mo siya, kase ang iniisip ko dapat ako yun. Dapat tayo yun. Nakalimutan ko na that was us 7 years ago, at marami ng nangyare. marami naring nag bago, sayo, sakin at sa atin."

Tonight i realized na hindi pinipilit ang pag mamahal. Natutunan kong tanggapin na hinding hindi ko kayang palitan si era sa puso niya.

Na si shina lang ako at siya si era.

"I'm still gonna be your bestfriend, no more jealousy, no more expectations, no more pain. Just be my friend." Nakangiti kong sabi sakanya.

Tumango siya bilang sagot, nakita ko parin ang pag aalala sa mukha niya. Alam ko na alam niyang nasasaktan ako pero pinilit ko parin itago ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ayokong makita niya na malungkot ako sa naging desisyon ko na hanggang dun nalang ang pag kagusto ko sakanya at hindi ko na pipilitin pa ang sarili ko.

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