Hermitcrap/Oneshots S7 [CANCELLED, DON'T BOTHER READING]

The Adventures Of Hermitcraft: What Happened?

HAHA, you thought I was gonna do angst, huh? If so, nope, this is a skit that I found funny. Let's just get with this. Also, there's only perma-death in this world. Quick warning for some cursing and a ton of death in a joking matter.

Mumbo, Iskall and Grian had come to investigate what seemed like a suicide. Joe Hills was found dead in his home at 7:14 AM, and they were seeing if the incident was a murder or suicide. After an hour, Grian, the original one to come, had sent the other two to confirm his suspicions.

"Ugh, what happened here?" Iskall asked.

"Suicide." Grian suspected.

"How did he do it?" Mumbo asked.

"Welp, he took this gun and he-" Grian explained as he pulled the gun to his head and pulled the trigger, killing him instantly.

"HOLY SHIT!" Mumbo yelled.

"WHAT THE BITCH!?" Iskall talked over Mumbo.

"WHO DOES THAT!?" Mumbo asked rhetorically.

"THAT WAS SO IRRESPONSIBLE!" Iskall yelled at Grian's corpse.

"What the hell's happened here!?" Doc asked after he heard a gunshot-wait, how did he get here?

"He shot himself!" Mumbo yelled.

"How'd that happen!?" Doc asked.

"Well, he took this gun and he—" Mumbo said as he put the gun to his head and met the same fate as Grian.

"... ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" Iskall yelled at Mumbo's dead body.

"He was 17 years from retirement." Doc mourned.

"We heard gunshots, is everyone alright?" Cub asked as he too entered the investigation that was now becoming a bloodbath.

"What's going on!?" Xisuma followed in before they both noticed the 3 corpses.

"OH GOD!" Cub yelled.

"WHAT HAPPENED!?" Xisuma asked, not knowing that it would start the whole cycle all over again.

"Well, they keep on taking this gun and-" Doc explained as he put the gun to his head.

"NO, NO NO-" Iskall tried to stop him, but it was no use, as he had already pulled the trigger. At this point, he was no longer scared, only annoyed.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Iskall yelled in frustration.

"Well, thanks to you, I didn't hear what he said!" Cub yelled at Iskall.

"Oh, it's really simple! He picked up this gun, put it to his head," Xisuma tried to explain as he did the things he explained and pulled the trigger. Once again.

"AAARGH!" Iskall screamed in frustration.

"Oh, no! My twin brother!" EX cried as he came in to the scene.

"Where did you come from!?" Iskall demanded. He thought he was in jail for vandalism!

"What ha-" EX asked before Iskall tried to stop him from asking the question fo death.

"No no! Don't ask him!" Iskall said to EX. But of course, EX rebelled.

"What, happened?" EX whispered to Cub.

"Well, you see...he picked up the gun..." Cub explained.

"Like this." Cub said as he held the gun.

"Ok," EX said so he would continue.

"Put the gun to his head..." Cub said as he put a pillow next to his head that was held with said gun.

"With a pillow?" EX asked, confused.

"...like this..." Cub said.

"Ok," EX said as Iskall felt like his eyes were rolling out of his skull.

"Than he pulled the trigger-" Cub explained, but the pillow sadly didn't work the way he hoped it to. Iskall just didn't care at this point, but EX did.

"OHHHH! OOOOHHHHHH!" EX yelled, similar to the acting you see in Jamaican films. "OH MY GAWD!!"

"Oh, no! MY twin brother!" Cub_Cam (Cub camera account that magically came to life somehow) yelled.

"Why are so many of you twins!?" Iskall asked.

"Nepotism!" They both answered.

"Yeah, that makes sense," Iskall muttered.

"So what happened?" Cub_Cam asked EX.

"Well, he picked up the gun..." EX started. "And then he put it to his-" EX said as he was intending to pull the trigger on his head, but accidentally shot Cub_Cam instead.

"No, that's not right, he-" EX corrected himself as he pulled the trigger to where he intended.

"I hate this job," Iskall muttered. And then he saw Scar in the corner. "Please...please don't ask..." Iskall pleaded.

"Wwwwhhhhaaaaaaat haaaaaapppeeeeennnnnd???!!!" Scar asked slowly, knowing full well what he was doing.

"AAARRRGGHH!" Iskall cried as he put the gun to his head and- BANG!

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Cleo was looking at a picture of Joe, who had died 10 years ago. She knew this, and yet she couldn't get over him. She kept on guilt tripping herself as to not knowing that-

"What happened to Daddy?" Her son asked.

"WELL, HONEY-"