Not Really Mine

XIV

I hauled his excessively heavy body over to the couch with the strength I had. I knew I couldn't take him to his room until he could help me. I let him go watching him tumble onto the most likely very expensive couch. I let out a short of finally having all of his weight lifted off of me. I stepped back and let my eyes roam slowly over the disarrayed Liam. He knew he shouldn't drink like this, he usually doesn't. His eyes closed and his breathing became deep, he was asleep. I sighed in relief, hoping he could sleep it off.

I shuffled to my room and fell onto the cushioned bed. It was hard seeing him in that state. His put together form shrunken into a poor drunk man. I was happy he wasn't a tempered drunkard, just a quiet one. I humorlessly chuckled realizing I was mad at him, but I'm still worried for him. Even though he probably doesn't give a damn about me. I should except it and move on with my life, but I don't know how. My feelings are a barricading my will to leave the deal and him behind. I decided to lay there while he took a nap and watch anything on TV.

It was about and hour or two before I got up to check in him. I exited out of the room looking over to the couch, seeing him still laying there. I tipped back over to the kitchen and poured a glass of water for him. I heard him groan from behind me. I turned my head back to where I put him making sure he was okay.

"You okay Liam?" I waited for an answer as I took the cup over to him.
"Liam?" I looked over the couch. He was facing up blankly staring at the ceiling, with slightly glosses over eyes. He seems like the alcohol affect had warn off a little. Ever so slightly his eyes flickered, probably thinking about something. He raked his hand through the disheveled mess that was his hair then snapped his eyes over to me. He cracked a sluggish smile.

"Azzy-" My eyebrows scrunched together. No one had ever called me that one before, I didn't expect him to be the first person to either. I motioned him to sit up on the couch. I guided the cup towards his lips letting him drink it. I took the cup away looking at his drunken form again. I sat down on the coffee table, so I could be in front of him.

"Why would you do this to yourself." I muttered setting the glass down onto the coffee table.

"Because I was sad, when I'm sad I drink." My eyes shifted over to him as he stared at me with sadness lingering on his face. I had a good feeling it was because of me. I bit my lip with guilt hovering over me for the second time. "It's not your fault, Az, it's mine." I heard him sigh. "I shouldn't have forced you into this in the first place, but now that you want to end it I-I thought it might make me feel better. Now I just felt worse, I don't want you to leave me." My jaw clicked then lifted my head, watching him look into my eyes for something. My eyes fluttered trying to keep the tears back.

"You're drunk, Liam." I mumbled looking down to my hands. It was difficult to believe giving the state he was in. I didn't want to be disappointed when the alcohol wares off and I'm on my own again. Warmth engulfed my hands as I saw his surround my smaller ones. My head raised to see his stormy eyes.

"Drunken words are sober thoughts." Liam's hands squeezed around mine. My eyes widened when a tear slipped down his face.

"I-I sorry, so sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt." My bottom lip quivered at his breakdown. "But please don't l-leave me I can't let you leave." He choked on a sob.

My urge to comfort him overpower anything and I got up and sat next to him. I wrapped my arms around his torso letting my own tears fall. He then slung his own arms around me, but lifted me into his lap, straddling his hip. He leaned back as I laid on his chest sobbing.

"I-thought you hated me, Vince." I sobbed.

"No-no- I didn't want to get attached so we both wound the get hurt, it's my fault." I felt his hand rub through my hair gingerly. We sat there for God knows how long in silence as we both silently cried. My breathing settled as I heard his heart beat through his chest. I started to relax as my eyes began to feel heavy.

"Sleep, Az."

I know- "ITS SHORT AGAIN."  But I promise I will do better this week. It's the friggin corona crap.

Ps. My new book is out!!! Go take a look into it-

-Z