Star Wars One-Shots

Haunting Memories

"I'm here."

"Not really," He argues, shaking his head. "I'm screaming at thin air. I can't even see you, Master Qui-Gon." He scoffs, tossing his hand in the air.

"But I am here."

"It's not the same, Master." Obi-Wan frowns, plopping onto his bed. He runs his hands through his hair, hoping to calm himself before the panic sets in again. Another image of Anakin flashes in his mind. The look in his eyes. The cry of pure pain Anakin let out as he was burned alive echoes around him. Obi-Wan starts to get taken somewhere else, following the sound of agony from his padawan.

"You're suffering in silence," Qui-Gon speaks up, making him jump. "Talk to me, Obi-Wan. Let it off your chest. I'm here for you now."

"I've failed you." He sighs, his shoulders dropping. His exhaustion starts to overcome his anger. He covers his face with his hands. "I've failed everyone. I led The Chosen One astray. He was to bring balance to the Force. Somewhere, I went wrong. I started this Empire. I'm the one who led Anakin down a path to suffering. I've failed him far more than anyone else."

"You did everything you could, my friend. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"How can't I?" Obi-Wan replies, looking up. "I watched him burn on that planet. I cut off my own padawan's limbs. I watched my best friend kill younglings!" He shouts, tears pooling in his eyes again. "He killed innocent children. He helped them kill Jedi, our friends. If I'm not the one to blame, then who is? I was his master, the one he looked to for guidance. He looked to me as an example of what Jedi should be!"

"You should know from personal experience that padawans don't always reflect their master's teachings. Take a look at you, for example. I never made it to the Jedi Council, but you became an excellent member. You didn't follow in my footsteps."

"That's not the same." He frowns, shaking his head. "Anakin fell to the dark side." He says. He takes a deep, shaky breath as he tries to contain his emotions. All of it is just so hard to bear. "I was supposed to kill him. And I couldn't do it. I've let everyone down. He's still alive and I know it. I can feel him. He's going to hurt more people."

"You haven't let us down, Obi-Wan. You expect so much of yourself. No one blames you for any of this. What you were tasked with doing was a difficult challenge."

"A difficult challenge?" Obi-Wan scoffs, rising from his bed. "A difficult challenge was facing Darth Maul or General Grievous. Being tasked with killing my padawan, my best friend is something that I can't even describe. Anakin was someone that I watched grow up. We've spent almost our whole lives together. I thought of him as a brother! Now tell me, Master. Could you kill your brother?"

"No. And I felt that you shouldn't have been put into that position. No master should."

"But I was!" Obi-Wan cries as he pounds at his chest. He doesn't even notice the tears cutting tracks down his cheeks. All he can feel is his heart shattering into a million pieces. His body begins to shake as he thinks of Anakin. "I watched my best friend die that day. All I have left now is Master Yoda and he sent me away. I'm so alone and I feel so guilty. Everyone is dead except me. Why me? Why did this burden of living fall onto me?"

"You have a great journey set for you."

"Don't you hate me?" He asks, suddenly steering the conversation away. His chest begins to tighten and he feels like he can't breathe. "Why are you here talking to me?" He shouts, his fists tightening at his sides.

"Of course I don't hate you. Why would you think that?"

"I hate me." He confesses as he tugs at his robe. He feels like he's being chocked. The room feels like it's shrinking around him. He starts to feel trapped and like he's going to pass out from lack of oxygen. "Everyone else should too."