Minus the frequent trips to work, and to the bathroom and to the kitchen, I've been staring at a door for almost one whole week now.
I didn't think it was possible to be as absolutely lost as I am right now. For once in my life, I didn't have a clue what I was doing. Or if I was even making the right choices, doing the right things.
Guidance. I needed clear guidance.
The worst part was, I felt like I had no one to turn to anymore. All due to the fact that I was too scared. I pushed people away when they got too close.
I guess Tom was right about that. After all, isn't that what I did to him?
I'm an idiot. Or am I smart for doing that? I didn't know. That's the exact reason why I needed guidance. Help.
When I was younger, whenever I felt lost or scared, or I just needed someone to lean on, I'd go to one person who would always have the right words to say. My dad.
Tom explained me perfectly when he said that I ignore my problems because of fear. That's me. I can never stand up and face my fears. I'm a coward.
And I'm pushing away my dad. Right now, I can't afford to do that. Because at this point, I need someone here, with me. I don't need a silly phone call from half way across the world, no. I need someone here now.
That door I was staring at, was my closet door. And its about time I open it.
I twisted the door knob and pulled the door open lightly. It creaked when it opened, as if it was an old door or something.
I glanced momentarily at the red dress that I wore for the Art Show.
I hadn't talked to Tom for nearly a week now. The last thing he said before he left that night was 'I'm fine'. And for all I know, he could have left already. Although I kind of hoped he didn't leave without saying goodbye. Even though goodbyes are tough to go through, they are worth it when that person is gone and you are alone. Just something to think about. I want Tom to give me a good... Goodbye. Not an 'I'm fine' goodbye.
Before I could think too much about Tom again, I focused my attention onto the old cardboard box labeled 'Dad', sitting on the floor of the closet. Almost hidden, but still quite visible to me.
And as I picked it up, my mind instantly started calculating the number of years I have had this box, and I never opened it. All of the times I locked it away. The exact calculation of how many times my mother, or Tom asked about the box. Of how many times I rejected the conversation of it.
And now I'm finally opening it. The box of my Dad's stuff. Our pictures we took together. Everything photograph worthy thing that my father had, that meant anything to him, he gave it to me. And it was sitting in this box, all this time.
I ran my fingers across the lettering on the outside of the box. D-A-D. And I prayed that whatever I found in this cardboard cube, would help me with what ever was to come.
I know I may not deserve help. Especially from my dad. I mean, the last words I said to the man were 'I hate you.' But, I asked for it anyways. Because deep down, I knew that if anyone could help in my time on need, its him.
I took the box cutter and made a clean cut across the tape on the top of the box. It came as a natural reaction to me to gently close my eyes when I opened the box.
When I opened my eyes. I couldn't help but start to cry. Because the absolute first thing I saw was my dad's face, in a picture frame.
Throughout the years, I had grown to slowly forget the way my dad looked. His features faded in my mind. It's unbelievable how you see someone's face for so long, and then all of a sudden, its gone. And no matter how many times you saw that face. You still forget it as time goes on. I guess that's what pictures are for. To remind people.
The picture was a picture of me and my dad at the local park that we loved. I was about 8 years old. I had ice cream in a waffle cone, dripping in my hands. And I was sitting on my dad's lap. My dad was smiling like he was the happiest man in the world. His camera hung around his neck.
That's how my dad always used to hold his camera. It immediately reminded me of Tom, In a way.
I took the frame out of the box and held it in my hands. Watching my tears drip onto the frame.
As I thought, I realized that the frame looked so familiar, like I saw it somewhere before.
I stood the picture frame up on the counter and looked back into the box. Going through all of the nature photos we took. There were so many. I'm surprised the box wasn't 1000 pounds.
There were a few that caught my eye. Mostly the ones of us. We took so many pictures together throughout the years. I had never noticed how many until they were all bunched together.
The only photo that was framed was the one at the top of the box. I studied the frame again. All of a sudden remembering why it looked familiar. It was the frame that was in my house. It was the picture he had on his desk at home in his office. I remember seeing it every time I'd go into his office and edit photos with him. I remember walking by the frame each day like it was no big deal. Because back then, it wasn't. It was just a silly old picture. But now, its all of my dad's memory. It's a cherished memory. I didn't know how valuable that little picture was going to be to me back then. Now I do. Its crazy how things work out.
After going through about 250 photos, I picked up the photo book at the bottom of the box and skimmed through. They were family pictures, as I was skimming, a white envelope dropped out of the book and fell back into the, now empty, box. It caught my attention. I picked it up.
Immediately, I knew that the writing was my fathers. On the front of the envelope said "Ariana".
My heart stopped for a second and I forgot how to breath. A letter? For me? From my dad?
I didn't even know if I could open it or not. I put it down on the counter. Not taking my eyes off of it. As if it was something extraordinary. To me it was. Because I didn't even know it existed until 30 seconds ago.
I didn't know if that was a good thing or not.
A/N: Short Chapter, I know! But this is preparing for the next chapter and its gonna be cray-cray. <-- what? can you tell I'm tired? Ugh I'm rambling now! // Anyways,I'm updating again due to the fact that its Thanksgiving and I want to be... giving. (: Enjoy this one for now. Love you, Vote...Comment♥ x.ashley
YOU ARE READING
Finding Forever (Tom Hiddleston Fanfiction)Fanfiction
"Its not a matter of finding the person you were meant to be with, but a matter of waiting to find each other." After breaking up with her boyfriend of seven years. Ariana needs a new start. Work takes her to London, and she is faced with the challe...