Because I find it entertaining and also want to showcase a few heights of common sense absence.
I would give a warning that this might be a little surreal to people with sound minds but I suppose none of them are here anyway so let's roll.
Some day in summer when I was 12 or so, I forgot to take my water bottle to school and stayed at the playground with some people for a while afterwards in an attempt to get friends. But somehow I got into an argument with my semi-enemies back then instead.
(I had a lot of semi-enemies because fitting in is not one of my talents.
Also I'm fairly retarded but that's nothing new)
Suddenly, my father drove up to the playground, furious that I had forgotten the water bottle and demanding I get in the car at once. I tried to stand my ground because I did not want to be a wimp, especially in front of all those people, but that just got him to scream like some moron.
Over a water bottle, no kidding.
As I went into the car, feeling the silent looks of the others upon me, I figured I had just lost all chances of ever being a kewl kid. Which I was fine with because I found myself more interesting than them anyway.
(It sounds arrogant, I know, but you don't know those people. Even you are most likely much more interesting than they were, and I can confidently say this without really knowing you beyond the fact that some cruel trick of fate led you here.)
Now you might think my father is a bit of a stuck-up dude, but he has actually just the temper issues all of my family has in some form.
(I don't have them for some reason, but I suppose that's because I have other things like subzero social skill and the willpower of a wet rag)
Now if he's not busy raging over random things, he is capable of insane achievements.
Like that one time he didn't know how to get out of that What'sApp group a part of the extended family made because technology hard.
The noise of all the notifications he didn't know how to turn off kept him from sleeping.
So what did he do?
a) ask one of us how to turn off the notification sound
b) turn off the phone when going to sleep
c) S e N d N 0 0 d S 2 g3t kIcKed by HiS fAmiLy
I think we all know the answer.
No, to be fair, I still struggle to comprehend he actually chose c) and didn't just lie to us to entertain himself. I mean, he didn't laugh when he told us, I asked like 10 times to confirm, and dude usually laughs a lot... so it seemed to be just regular business to him...
R E G U L A R B U S I N E S S
My smartest sister - lets call her A - tried to prank my other sister B by pouring milk in her glass of cola and getting her to drink that.
She thought mixing a dark brown and a white liquid would not result in a colour change of the former.
It did result in a colour change to a muddy light brown. How surprising.
The prank failed.
Then again, I suppose it would have been a lot more worrying if the prank had succeeded due to B not noticing. It gave me a little hope for her.
On the same day, said hope was crushed mercilessly. I had to calmly educate B that cinnamon protein powder does not make for an adequate flour substitute. Did I mention she is the far better cook of the both of us?
Because social media trained her well, she proceeded to take a picture of her ruined food and post a picture on Snapchat with the subtitle "tried to make waffles, looks like diarrhea :(" for all of her friends to see.
Her friend replied:
"Your brain is diarrhea
Your life is diarrhea
YOU are diarrhea"
Upon seeing this, I proceeded to fall to the floor, laugh for 5 minutes and almost soil my pants, as I am very smart.
