There is an anime called "Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?"
Good question.
Actually not because it is a really bad idea that this anime aims to misinform about.
Luckily for you, I'm here to save your pitiful attempts at navigating a foreign world.
Now you might say "But Cynaris, what are you talking about?"
and to that I say that the title is actually only a clickbait containing a question I don't particularly care about.
I just want to spam about dungeons for a while.
But in case you're really curious, don't worry, I'll address the title question on the side.
If you're not into girls, that's fine, just read this to any male acquaintance who deserves to be annoyed with a very long text today.
Let's start, alright?
5. If you pick someone up, you'll carry them around.
It's exhausting, it's impeding your movements, and it will cause massive amounts of nagging coming your way until your ears beg for permission to off themselves. I speak from experience. Just don't. It is a very ungrateful task.
4. In most cases, you should not enter a dungeon in the first place. For the start at least.
Now that may seem counterintuitive to you, but once you think about it, it becomes abundantly clear.
If you know anything about dungeons, a very distinctive picture will appear in your head should that subject come up.
Wide sprawling cavern systems filled with traps and countless monsters that only wait to jump at your throat and gut you like a pig, sprinkled with promise of treasure and bragging rights.
A psychopathic maniac who once thought "Hey, wouldn't it be a great idea to hide a legendary treasure, menace or whatever down here to watch plucky adventurers die by the dozens in the pursuit of bravery, fame and plastic gold?" and immediately went to work because he had zero hobbies otherwise.
And last but not least, the strange fact that you can see in pitchblack darkness for whatever reason. Seriously, what is up with that?
Now if you are a slightly logical person like me, you will immediately see the problem here.
Which is: how is the food chain in that place running?
The problem with ecosystems in caves are that no sunlight comes down there.
No sunlight. No plants. Battle Royale: Cannibal Edition.
Technically, it should be enough to find and block off all entrances to prevent the maniac from secretly feeding his pretties and plucky adventurers from contributing to the pool of fresh nutrition coming down there, then chill for a couple months.
Even if the creatures in those caves were unusually tough, most of the problems you could have had going there should have solved themselves at this point. Nothing procreates faster than it eats.
In some cases, that would not solve your problem though:
a) The monsters more or less mirror the behaviours of their videogame counterparts through magic or whatever other fancy power there may be at work:
They live forever without needing any kind of sustenance or sleep and respawn if you kill them.
Remember the treasure I talked about?
Forget it. Not a chance.
Instead, do the following:
1. Catch a monster.
2. Congratulations, you now possess a Perpetuum Mobile.
3. Profit. In fact, as much as you want.
4. If your obese ego is hurt, might as well hire an army of mercenaries to catch more monsters to eventually empty out the dungeon and get that sparkly treasure or slay that ancient evil for you after all.
5. For the especially megalomaniac: Try to figure out if you can relocate the monsters' spawnpoints.
Trust me, it's overpowered and will grant you world dominion if you got enough spare time for that kinda thing.
