To anyone who is average:
See previous chapter.
Other than that...
Sometimes, I can just stand or sit somewhere and people will notice I'm off.
The truth is that my social skills are actually subzero and I've been winging it my entire life.
With gradually descending success.
As you may have already noticed.
Should that not be the case, I am sorry, but I have bad news about your own level of intelligence.
Also, I cannot really pay attention to more than one thing at once.
This is worse than it sounds. I often cannot think while walking, talking or doing anything demanding just a bit of concentration.
It is a wonder I have not been prescribed any sort of wonder medication like Ritalin yet.
Well, I in actuality have been recommeded or sent to see psychologists on different occasions, but so far I have been lying and acting my way past anything major. I'm not into visiting boring "therapies", nor into taking pills and the like. Drugs are for people who cannot afford to think.
Hobby psychologists aka random people have been given me the following diagnoses so far:
- narcissism
- autism/ Asperger's syndrome (classic)
- psychopathy (wherever that came from)
- ADHD
- attention whore syndrome
- drugs inside my brain (Not even joking. I think.)
- illegal amounts of sarcasm
You see, the level of expertise out there is astounding. Too bad I cannot stand any fake smartasses other than myself in my vicinity. Don't worry though, usually I will be nice about it. Surprisingly enough, I like civilisation even though it has all the people in it.
I'm a major coward and sloth. If I had an emblem, it would be a white flag, if I had a mascot, it would be a cross between a Slowpoke and a chicken.
At least that means I am not a danger to the public. Except when I cannot resist stupid ideas, perhaps. I'm scared of most people to some degree though, so you will probably be okay.
I have a lot of imagination which I primarily utilise to make up broken concept ideas and conspiracy theories on the fly. This behaviour dates back to my kindergarden years which is why people mistake me for being intelligent at times.
I will probably tell you some of these in the future, so stay tuned, for you are in dire need of enlightenment.
How I can tell? You not only found this book, you read it past the chapter that was supposed to trigger you, and even now, you are still not willing to stop. Of course, this was my intention.
You fell for the tricks of a retard.
If that is not your brain's silent scream for help, it is probably its last breath.
What else... ah, right. My memory is really weak. I cannot tell you the rest of this chapter right now.
