𝘗𝘌𝘙𝘏𝘈𝘗𝘚 ━━ 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙪𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙀𝙧𝙖

━ CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"IF I LAY HERE, IF I JUST LAY HERE, DO YOU THINK I'D  still pass all of my classes?"

"No,"

Peter snorted, which shocked James out of his sleep. He fell off the common room chair and Tula stared at him with little to no pity.

A sleepy smile spread over Sirius's face, "Well, would you look at that, Moony. You said one word and woke Prongs from his coma. Good job,"

"Oh I couldn't possibly take all the credit, after all, you were the one singing so horribly," Said Remus, still pouring over his homework.

"You wanna know the most infuriating thing about multiple choice questions?" Tula spoke up, "Is that you're quite literally staring right at the answer but you still don't get it!"

"Alright then Vix', don't flip the table," James yawned, reaching for his quill.

"Blah blah, don't flip the table, blah blah."

"I got ninety nine problems and ninety seven of them are due by the end of the week," Sirius hummed.

"The other two were due last week," Peter added.

"If you look at me close enough during tests, you can see me losing my will to live,"

"Oh I'm always looking at you Moony,"

"Having fun?"

The group looked up as a smirking Lily walked down the dormitory steps, looking quite pleased with the sight of sleep deprived teens.

"Agh, look away Lily, your teeth are distracting me!" Sirius said, holding his hand out to block her from view.

"You know, if you'd just done these earlier like I told you to, you wouldn't be in this situation,"

"And if my mother had kept her legs shut, I wouldn't be here at all. What's your point?" Tula grumbled.

"That you should listen to me," Lily said, shrugging innocently.

"What makes you think we're not happy here?" Asked a sleepy Peter.

"Your quills on fire," Remus said, making no move to put it out as Peter yelped and threw the whole thing in the fire place.

A snore escaped James' lips as Sirius slapped him, "Oi! If we're not sleeping, you're not either!"

"Hey! I wanted to do that!"

"Snoopers weepers, losers winners, guess you should've moved- I-I said that wrong, didn't I?" Sirius stuttered.

"I wanna blow up the moon," Remus said, forgetting Lily's presence.

"Hell yeah, fuck the moon. Making waves, for what?" Tula nodded.

"Don't think that's what he was referring to, Tules." James said with a small smile.

"Let's blow up the moon!" Sirius suddenly yelled, throwing his hands into the air.

"Good lord," Said Lily, "Do they always plan to blow up planets when they're tired?" The question had been for Peter, but he was so tired he didn't pay attention.

She watched them a moment more before shaking her head and walking away, Sirius's singing following her.

"It's beginning to look a lot like FUCK THIS-"

***

"Do you think Minnie will believe a dog ate my homework?" Peter said nervously, looking at the ruined parchment that he had attempted to fix after burning it.

"No dogs are allowed on grounds," Remus reminded him gently.

He let out a wail of anguish and fell to the floor. Not even drawing so much of a glance from over class mates walking by in the corridor.

"Maybe, just maybe, if I stole a time turner and used my form to create the familiar presence of a dog eating homework around Hogwarts, going back decades-"

"No." Remus cut off firmly, seeing a familiar glint in his (boy)friends eye.

Sirius made a disappointed noise. "But I wanted to eat Dumbledores!"

"You wanna know what I hate!?"

"Uh oh,"

The trio turned as James and Tula returned from their Muggle Studies quizz, James looking hollow inside and Tula looking like the bloody baron was possessing her, with her hair in every direction and her robes on inside out. "Poets! I hate them! We get it, you cisgender, white, heterosexual European assholes! Things are like other things!"

"Yeah, words. Hate em." James added flatly.

"Jesus Christ," Sirius said with a grimace, "What happend in there?"

"There was a big bang, the world was created, and everything went to shit!" Tula responded heatedly.

"Yeah, what she said."

"Merlin, okay then."

James cleared his throat, "How was your tests?"

Peter looked up from his place on the floor, "I wonder if Filch is taking apprentice applications,"

"Oh sweet Mary mother of Jesus Joseph and the poor donkey that carried them, are you okay?" Tula dropped down beside her friend with a frightend expression. "There's no need to do anything rash."

"Honestly, it's starting to look like a good idea," Peter continued. "Free meals, a roof over your head, and you'll never be lonely. Not to mention, with magic it'll be easy. Maybe I'll get myself a nice cat too,"

"But you're a mouse?"

"We'll defy the laws of nature, me and Togo, friends for life..."

"The mans lost it," James said, shaking his head.

"I think I'll go to sleep early tonight," Peter mumbled as Tula holsted him to his feet. "Is that the sun? I said I was going to sleep early!"

The group shared genuinely concerned looks.

"Wormtail, what have you eaten today?"

"Whats a frog?"

"How the fuck did you get frog from that?"

James shook his head, "We're taking him to to hospital wing,"

"But we have a test in two minutes!"

"Peter's more important, come on."

"Ooh, fluffy." Peter said dreamily, patting the top of James's hair.

Sirius stared at him, "Yeah, okay. You have a point."

***

The Marauders remained in the hospital wing by Peter's side until the sun had set. Thankfully, it was only the lack of sleep that had sent Peter into his small spiral of madness.

And unfortunately, Sirius seemed to be going in the same direction.

Because as he laid down for bed that night, he decided to do something very, very stupid.

"Hey Prongs?"

"What's up, Pads?"

"I'm in love with Moony."