Luna? No sir i'm a Marine

Eyes wide shut

One word ringing in my mind......should.

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The last few days numerous people have made countless efforts to try and help me regain my memory. Apparently I was very close with these people.

They have been visiting me every day. I was apprehensive at first but Bonnie wasn't taking no for an answer. They're great, funny people and i'm starting to see why we were close.

I refused to believe them but then they brought out the big guns. They had pictures of us, video's of us singing and a few of my things that I recognised immediately.

My memory is coming back, slowly and gradually. I keep getting random flashbacks and i'm starting to piece together who I am.

I haven't left this damn bed and it's driving me nuts. It's not due to lack of trying, that's for sure. I attempted many times but Luke always seemed to be near enough to stop me.

We went through all my injuries and holy moses there's a lot. I'm surprised i'm still functioning properly. From what they've told me there hasn't been a time that I haven't been injured since we've met. I'm just accident prone.

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I'm just sitting here, watching a movie. It's pretty good but i'm soooooooo bored. Without warning the door flew open and in ran two children. I quickly sat up. The pain has been easing off. The young boy sat by my feet but the little girl jumped onto my lap. It hurt but I just pushed it away.

She wrapped her small arms around me and gently squeezed.
"Yay you're ok. I thought I lost my angel."
Her angel.......her angel. Alarm bells were going off in my mind but nothing was coming through. She lifted her head and looked at me. As soon as I saw those green eyes it was like the dam broke and memories began flowing in. They were choppy but I was remembering scenes from pictures I was shown and how I came to know these beauties. Also how I ended up here with them. Mr.WolfyMcFluffy. Werewolves.

"It's nice to see you too Rose and Simon. Now do me a favour and go get the Luke, Bonnie, Zack and Aaron." Simon ran out almost bursting with excitement. It was only about a minute and suddenly the room became very crowded. 6 pairs of eyes staring at me intently. I felt Rose snuggle into my chest and relax. I held her tight.

"Is it true? Do you remember everything?"
"Not everything. But the majority.........Bon Bon."
She squealed and jumped up and down. She hugged Aaron and he tried to calm her down. Relief and joy flooded their faces but I noticed that Luke's was short lived.

He asked everyone to leave and one by one they shuffled out. Except for Rose who had fallen asleep.
"You know once she heard what happened she wouldn't rest until she was allowed to see you.........The entire pack has been off. They can sense something is going on. Also the notes you left caused up roar, you're stupid if you thought they would just let you leave, if I would just let you leave."

At this point he was sitting on the bed. Rubbing his thumb over my knuckles as he held my hand. For some reason I always felt safe around him. I looked into his eyes and they were so full of emotion and so blue that I just lost myself in them. We slowly leaned in and before I knew it we were kissing. It felt so familiar, so natural. That when it all came back. ALL. Everything. My life literally flashed before my eyes, reminding me of every little detail. The pain, the happiness, the crying, the tattoo's and the slut.

I pulled back and refused to look into his eyes.
"I better put her to bed, it's getting late."
Luke leaned over and removed Rose from my arms. The tingles dancing across my skin.

Once he left the room I got up, I wobbled a bit but I was determined to make it to the bathroom. I knew I didn't have much time so every second counted. I was slow but it just insured I didn't do any further damage.

I leaned down and splashed the cold water onto my face and slowly looked in the mirror. "How did you get yourself rapped up in all this shit Alex?" I asked myself. I look a mess but right now I don't care.
If what I remembered is correct then I shoul- AH HA. Found it. I removed the sheet from my bra. Handy storage place. And skimmed over the words, making sure I have this correct.

For a second I was worried that they would have changed my underwear but thankfully they didn't. It is a bit disgusting but in my favour.

"........in the werewolf community mates are important. The ideal mate is a strong she-wolf able to bare pups. In unique cases a werewolf can be mated to a human. Although the bond is sacred rejection is not unheard of. When one party or both parties want out of the bond all it takes is one simple sentence "I _______ reject you _________ as my mate." After this all ties are severed. You can no longer feel their emotions, smell their scent, feel when they are close to you and you are no longer calmed by their presence. This allows them to move on in life, like nothing ever happened. They proceed like others who's mates have died or never found their mates........"

At the sound of Luke's voice I quickly shoved the sheet back into my bra and opened the door. He was frantically searching around the room shouting my name.
"Sorry, I was just in the bathroom."

His features softened when he saw me. He approached me but I quickly put my hand out to stop him.
"What's wrong princess." I could feel my heart rate and breathing increase. My chest was tearing in two but I have to do this. So we can all move on and so this pack can get a Luna that they deserve and he can get the mate that he deserves.

I made eye contact. That's the least he deserves.
"I'm sorry." He looked confused.
"For what?" He took a step forward and I took one back, hitting the wall.

I looked up the the ceiling trying to stop the tears. I don't know why this is so hard. He's the one who kissed another girl. I know that you might think that this is a complete over reaction for just a kiss but to me it's a lot more than that. He kidnapped me, he kept the fact that he's a giant wolf from me, he said he would never hurt me and then kisses another girl. How can I ever trust him?

I've spent my entire life waiting for the pain, bracing myself for the hurt. Just waiting for the day that someone knocks on my door and informs me that my parents were killed in the line of duty. Or watching my friends die in combat and waiting for my own inevitable death. I'm sick of waiting for the pain and hurt, I don't want that in love. If this is even what love is. I want it to be easy, I don't want to have to worry about other girls. I just can't do it anymore. Not when it comes to this. This kind of pain is unbearable, this heartache.

He only needs me to make his wolf stronger and to get the Alpha title. He doesn't want me. But who could blame him. No will ever want me, i'm just a messed up girl who doesn't belong. This way I can go back to what I know how to do best. An emotionless killer, protecting my country. I'm setting him free.

I looked back at him and took a deep breath.

My voice was shaking and weak but I know he can hear me loud and clear.

"I Alexandria Jamie Smith rejec-

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