Help Me, Please? *One Direction Fanfic*

Chapter 28

*****HOLY FREAKING GOODNESS! I woke up this morning to freaking 15 comments and 19 votes! I danced around my room like a freak but I don't care. Thank you so freaking freaking much! Sorry I didn't update earlier, I have been busy.

Shoot, this is super short. Dang it. Sorry.*****

~~~~~~Zayn tried to hold a smile on his face, but I knew that the smile was fake. 

I am not sure, but I thought I saw a tear escape and fall down his cheek. I don't know, because my eyes started to become fuzzy and soon enough, I passed out.~~~~~~~~~~~

I was running.

Running from Harry....or was it Matt....or Jim? 

I don't know, but one of them was chasing me. 

Going to kill me.

"Please!" I begged as I bolted down the baren street.

Suddenly I bumped into a person.

"Gotcha" he smirked as he pulled out a rag and...

I screamed. 

That was the fourth night in a row I have had a nightmare like that. 

I panted, trying not to hyperventilate.

It just seemed so...real.

The past four days I haven't gone out of the bedroom.

I haven't really eaten anything but an apple that Zayn brought up.

He has been feeling so sorry for me, but I also know that I hurt him too.

"Oh no" I managed as I sprinted to the bathroom. 

Every time I wake up from the nightmares, I always have the urge to throw up.

Those 'three' make me feel so disgusting and sick that I just have to throw up.

Couldn't they have just ra-no. Sky. Don't. 

I actually don't wish it happened to anyone but me. 

Maybe the gods made them kidnap me because they knew I could handle it, or they knew I was strong.

But I'm not.

No one's perfect and I am FAR from it. 

Not a second goes by that I don't think about ending it all.

I think when I was sleeping, Zayn removed all the razors and medicine from the bathroom.

Even though I told him a couple of days ago that I would never cut, I have been having second doubts.

I really don't care.

I just don't. 

A knock brought me out of my trance.

"S-Sky? You awake?" a British accent asked.

"Mmm" I groaned. I didn't feel like talking to Zayn...or anyone. 

"Sky-omigosh, you are so pale!" he whispered as he ran towards me.

I flinched back and moved away from him.

I wasn't in the mood to see, talk, look, anything related to other people.

 "Sky! What's wrong? Why are you doing this to me? You know I would never hurt you..."

Those same words repeated over and over again, like they are haunting me.

Though, the more I thought about it, Zayn was the only one who kept his promise.

So far...

"Mmmhh"

"Please just say something, we are very worried about you" Zayn pleaded.

I knew if I even snuck a peak at Zayn's gold eyes I would forget about everything and all the mushy stuff.

But I didn't want to forget.

If I forgot, then...then...I don't know.

I just can't do it.

Ten minutes of silence later, I snapped.

Why, may you ask?

Because I am an idiot who has full on wars inside her head.

"Zayn. I-I c-can't do it..." I whispered.

It was like cannons were being shot inside my brain, and people were scrambling to get out of the way.

I needed him away so I could freak out alone.

I know I already lost all diginty and self-respect, but, in the four days of alone time, I found that I kind of liked Zayn. 

He was really nice and sweet, and gave really amazing hugs. 

"W-what?"

"I give up" I whispered a little louder.

He stared at me like I was crazy.

Ok, I know he isn't stupid, so why isn't he catching on?

I had a debate in my head. I hate politics.

"Actually, can I just be alone?" I spoke as I kept my head down, my knotted hair covering my face.

I saw him nod, and hesitantly leave.

"Sky, you can always tell me" he stated as he closed the door.

I waited until I heard his footsteps go into another room before I had my melt-down.

This time, it was worse.

I don't think I have ever been this depressed before, ever. 

I frantically searched around the room for something.

Dissapointed, I ran into the bathroom.

Nope, nope, nope, nothing I could use.

I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand when I realized something: the tub.

As I turned the knob to fill up the bathtub, I had to sit down.

The voices in my head were screaming at me.

One side shouted:

"Don't do it. You don't need to end it this way. Talk it out, things will get better-"

Then the other side screetched back

"Everyone keeps saying that! And has it?? NO! Things just keep getting worse and worse. What's next, gang-rape?"

"Please, Sky, live for something, live for food, for...for Zayn"

"Yeah right, he probably doesn't even like you. He probably wants the same that Harry wanted from you: sex."

"ALRIGHT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!" I screamed, holding my head in my hands to try and get the voices to stop.

Ok, right now I sound like a complete lunatic. 

I slid into the tub with all my clothes on.

Who cares? No one. No one cares if I take a 'bath' with my clothes on because no one cares about me.

I took one huge gasp of air before I submerged my head into the icy-cold water.

So this is how it is going to end.

********I am sorry it is so freaking short, but I like leaving cliff hangers :)

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