Only Time Will Tell

51. I Don't Know What To Think

Chapter Fifty-One

I decided to not attend school the next day. I couldn't bare to face Kyle in school. I just couldn't risk it. What I didn't need though,  was my friends and I had enough of not talking to Casey. I missed my best friend.  So as soon as I woke up I texted her.

To: Casey

Hey Case, I know you're in school,  but would you mind meeting up with me afterwards. I think we have a few things to sort out. x

In no time I got a reply.

From: Casey

Actually,  I have 2 free periods,  so if you're ready we can mert up in like half an hour? X

To: Casey

Sounds like a plan. I'll see you in central. x

I put my phone away and quickly got dressed. The weather was awful and rainy so I went for a navy knitted sweater and a pair of black leather jeans with a pair of black suede pumps with a gold tip. I grabbed my bag and my jacket and off I went.

~***~

I didn't have to wait long for Casey. We went into Starbucks and took our seats. "Its nice to see you." She told me.

"I missed you Casey, but I just really don't understand how you could defend him when he cheated on your best friend." I told her.

She sighed. "I feel sorry for him."

My mouth dropped open. "Excuse me?"

"I know." She said. "I know, but—"

"He cheated on me Casey! You're my best friend." I told her, hurt by what she said.

She took a deep breath. "I've always told you Han, cheating is unforgivable. And I can't make you give him another chance, but I take it back because I generally think you should forgive him."

I shook my head. "You must be fucking kidding me."

"No. I want you two together."

"How many times do I have to repeat this Casey? He cheated on me!" 

"But he's trying so hard to get your forgiveness. He loves you Hannah. Not only is he trying on his own but he found the balls to ask me for forgiveness and for help." She told me.

I looked at her confused. "You're helping him?! Well that just explains it doesn't it."

"Kyle is the one for you Hannah. I know he is." She insisted.

I shook my head. "I thought you liked Joey! How can you do this to me?"

Casey looked at me apologetically.  "I do. He's so lovely Hannah. He's just not the one for you."

I laughed humourlessly. "Is it the way he looks at me shit?"

"No, he looks at you almost as deeply as Kyle. But its the way you look at him actually."

"What? " I asked confused. 

"You dont look at him the way you look at Kyle."

"Thats bullshit. I hated Kyle for years before I started liking him." I reminded her.

"That speaks for itself Han. Even when you fight with him and cry and shout at him, even through the hatred, you still look at him the way you did when you were together." She told me.

I sighed, knowing it was true. "Thats not true. I like Joey."

"No you're forcing yourself to like Joey." Casey corrected me.

I shook my head. "No—"

"I know you too well and too long Hannah."

I shook the thought out my head. "I like Joey." I insisted. 

Casey shrugged. "Even if you do. Doesn't mean you cant love Kyle."

My breath hitched. "I dont— I dont love him.."

"Really?" Casey asked.

I sighed. "Casey, I don't know what to think."

"Its going to be okay Han." Casey forced a smile.

I shook my head. "No it isn't. I think this whole situation has actually made me realise that— that I— I love Kyle." I sighed.

Casey actually gave me a genuine smile. "I know. And he loves you too Hannah. I think you need to talk to him."

"I cant face him." I told her.

"Why not?" She asked.

"Because he had a fight with Joey yesterday." 

"Like physical?"

I nodded. "Very. "

"How bad?" She asked.

"Bad enough for me to be scared to face him." I told her.

"I think you should just give it some time so you can also see if you have any stronger feelings for Joey." Casey tokd me.

I knew she was right. It was good to have my friend back