PHYSIOLOGICAL-

011.

warning: mention of rape. (if something has happened to you like this, and you need to talk, go ahead in my dms. i understand situations like this.)

everything i wanted by billie eilish

kairi cursed as he heard silence form the other line. worry started to fill him. 

"mattia! hello?" he said into the phone.

silence.

kairi hung up the line. his anxiety was at an all time high, basically like it had been the past 3 days. he bounced his leg on the bed and put his phone down, shutting it off.

about 10 seconds later, he shook his head, pursing his lips together and grabbing his phone once again. 

he redialed mattias number and waited for the line. 

calling...

his phone read. after a few seconds, he got the voicemail.

kairi hung up the phone and groaned. he put his head in his hands, almost on a cue, he began to sob.

he stayed in that position and cried until his throat hurt, until he barely had a voice.

the white, soft sheets shuffled around on the bed from all of kairis movement. 

✨

when kairi lifted his head, his eyes slightly strained from the golden light shining on him. the sun was already setting and he hadnt seen mattia yet. 

kairi wiped his eyes and tried to keep his breathing steady. 

he lifted his hoodie over his head and took it off. although, it was actually mattias hoodie. he rolled it up and laid down on the bed, setting it next to him.

he curled up around it. once again, he began to cry into the hoodie that smelled like mattias cologne.

his breathing was the only noise that filled the room, it was heavy and unsteady.

he finally fell asleep, light headed and exhausted. he pulled a blanket over him and slept, almost peaceful.

before the nightmares.

the ones that caused him to wake up screaming, sobbing or terrified.

✨

he saw alejandro standing in front of him, having him pinned to a wall. "please... d-dont hurt me.." kairi said, pathetic. 

he remembered his moment exactly. 

alejandro then grabbed him and tossed him onto the bed, flipping him over and pinning his arms down. kairi cried quietly, shaking.

"why the fuck are you shaking?!" ale yelled. he felt a slap across his face and alejandro get on his back. 

kairi knew it was useless, trying to fight ale. he just laid there and expected to be hit.

until something different happened. 

kai was in shock as alejandro ripped off his hoodie and went down to his sweatpants. 

he then tried to fight back. 

✨

kairi, half awake, clamped his legs shut and started talking. "no! alejandro, please. i dont want to! please!" 

it didnt take a professional to figure out what was happening. 

he was then fully awake, alert and looking around the room. when he saw no alejandro from his nightmares, he let out a long breath. 

his jaw then quivered as he started sobbing and shaking. 

he needed someone right now. he needed to be held and comforted, but no one was there.

he settled for sobbing alone.

what else could he do?

as stated in the warning, please, if you need to talk about sexual abuse, my dms always open. i understand stuff like this and its fucking horrible. sexual abuse is not to be taken lightly. if anyone feels this chapter is disrespectful, i apologize but it is also for enlightenment on the situations. if you ever feel in danger, please tell someone even though it might be so fucking hard. trust me, i know. once again, i will delete this chapter immediately if anyone feels disrespected.