The Surrogate (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 8

"I am so very lost without you. Nothing and no one will ever replace you. And it terrifies me." ~Ranata Suzuki.

I was exhausted, but the meeting with Austin's teacher went well. She let me know that he was one of her model students but her only concern was that he wasn't reading enough. Apparently, they had to be reading a chapter book every two weeks and write a summary about it along with an analysis of the protagonist. When I asked him about it he told me that he got bored with the books we had at home, so I decided that he needed to get a library card that way I or Harvey could take him to get a new book when he needed it.

When I made it home. Harvey was working on some homework. I kept my word and we left to Reyes to eat. We ate peacefully and talked about our day. I also took the time to ask the boy what they thought about the whole surrogacy situation. Austin expressed how he thought that it was cool and how he was excited to meet the baby. Which lead me to explain that he might not be meeting the baby due to it being Justice's. Harvey, on the other hand, was more serious about what he thought. He expressed concern about how he did not want me to get hurt. He also brought up my past with Justice which I assure him was irrelevant now. 

"After this baby is born she will be out of our lives." I told Harvey. Harvey didn't say anything he just let me know he was here for me which I appreciated more than he will ever know. When we finished eating a coworker let me know they were understaffed and that Lex was running late. I looked over at my brothers and they both gave a gentle nod. I handed Cayden to Harvey and went to the locker room to get into work clothes. 

The afternoon went by quickly and eventually became night. Lex had arrived about an hour late but we weren't that worried because things had died down. When she got there we let two people go home and it remained her and me for this endless night. At some point through the night, Justice had asked where I was and I let her know that I was working. 

"Have you talked with Darren?" I looked over at Lex. I knew too well why she was asking if I spoke with her finance.

"No, I have been avoiding him," I confessed. 

"Why?" I could hear the hurt and a hint of disappointment in Lex's voice. "Only you two truly understand what the other is going through. Maybe you two can help each other." She was right and I hated that.

I looked over at Lex and gave her an okay. She was right, what Darren and I went through it changed us, it changed me and he might know what I feel because lord knows no one else understands what I have been through, or they know but they don't understand this pain I feel. 

We went back to work but I did text Darren to tell him to pass by so we could talk. When he arrived Lex assured me that she was okay with working by herself while we talked outside. As we stood outside none of us spoke. We just stood there. 

"It's been a year." He said breaking the silence between us. I looked up at him and then looked down. There was so much pain hiding behind his eyes and so much pain in his voice. All of this, because of a past we have. A pass that we can't forget.

"I know." I couldn't look him in the eyes for long periods of time. This boy in front of me was giving my best friend happiness and I was giving him pain. Pain that he didn't deserve. "I think I about her every day." I had not confessed that to anyone. Not even myself. 

"I figured." He forced me to look at him. "You know it's okay to let yourself be Cayden's mom." My tears broke free. He was probably the only one who knew the real reason why I could not bring myself to be Cayden's mom. It was only because he was the only one that went through the same thing that I went through. 

"I can't. What if we find her, and she hates me cause I have another kid. What if she thinks we gave up on her?" 

"She will never think that. We are looking for her and we will never stop. We will find her, I promise." I felt him pull me into a hug and my tears began to soak his shirt. We truly did have a complicated history but he never bailed. Slowly he fell in love with Lex and I was happy for both of them. 

"What's wrong?" Lex asked me for the fifth time. I sighed I could not hide this for long. How was I going to tell her this? It took me a second but I finally built up the courage and told her that I was pregnant and she was really happy for me. I told her how far along I was and that I was planning to go through this pregnancy. That I wanted to keep the baby and Lex being Lex gave me her word that she would be with me for everything. 

"Thank you." 

That afternoon I left. I needed to talk with Darren and tell him. When I found him he was just coming out of his film class. I went up to him and managed to drag him away from his friends. When we were far enough he looked at me confused. 

"Can I help you?" Darren asked. 

"We have a problem," I said. "Darren there is no easy way to say this. I'm pregnant." 

"It's mine?" I nodded my head. "Are you going to keep it?" Another nod, "Okay. I'm here for anything you need. I am not gonna bail." 

After that, we talked about it. We went to get some food and discussed what we both wanted and the best thing was that neither of us wanted a relationship with the other. He also assured me that he would be there every step of the way. 

Darren kept his word and he was there for me always. He fell in love with Lex and it was amazing. Lex was okay with what was going on, and she understood that we have a shared pain that connects us.

When we went back in Lex sighed in relief which made me smile. The worries I have put this girl through she does not deserve them. She is very patient but I also know when she loses her cool she will murder someone without hesitation.