Longing for Absolution (Twilight Fan-Fic)

Chapter 9: Pain and Past

I heard faint screaming sounds, they irritated me a bit. I began to focus on them to see if it would stop, I knew my eyes were closed. I needed help.

Bella!

Where is she? I tried to say her name, then strangely enough the screams seemed to be getting louder and it was a bit faded but I think it was saying Bella. I felt something in my hand, it was a light touch but almost a little reasuring? I started hearing words other than the screams.

'Control, use your control.'

'But how?' I tried to ask.

'Use it to block the pain and open your eyes.'

Suddenly the pain came rushing back only ten folds more.

'Please Alice, control it and everything will be as it was. Please, for me Alice.'

I decided to try my best to get out of the pain. I started to feel trapped, like an elastic bubble was pushing in on me. I felt it as I reached my two small hands out to push back on it, it was sturdy. I pushed and pushed as far and as hard as it would let me, suddenly it just wasn't there. Almost like it popped, I could feel myself running in some sort of maze?

It had a lot of turning points, I could only feel this. I still couldn't see but black shapes coming my way as I was running through. I felt my emotions go haywire as I seemed like I was getting closer, the pain was on my skin, as if it was hovering over me. With each stwp it felt like it was sinking, absorbing into my body, my bones. It made me want to stop and just give in...I wanted to give up.

'NO! ALICE, DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP, YOU'RE ALMOST THERE, YOU WILL BE SUCKED BACK IN!' That voice screamed inside my head, it hurts too much to go on.

'Please, do it for me? NO! Do it for your family, for the love of your life, Jasper!' It said a bit softer.

Jasper?

Oh God! JASPER!

Just when I finished screaming his name, it felt as if I was flying. I felt my whole body lying on a floor, my eyes fluttered open.

Bella's face was directly in front of mine, her body hovering over me.

"I'm soooo sorry, Alice. I swear it had to be done. Alice, please do not be upset with me!" yelled Bella.

"Wh-What hap-happened? What did you do?" I asked in a horanced voice, from all the screaming.

"I had to make your emotions strong, in order for your defenses to weaken." said Bella while placing her face into her cupped hands.

She looked kind of ashamed by what she has done, I still cannot comprehend why she did.

She continued.

"For you..to...feel pain more clearly." said Bella. She started off slow but hastened the end, I let it sink in. After a few moments, I felt very pissed off.

"Why in HELL would you WANT me to FEEL PAIN?!" I moatly yelled at her.

Bella flinched, but otherwise proceeded to tell more.

"You has to feel the same pain in your past in order for me to show you, it had to be done. I'm deeply sorry." said Bella in a zany voice. I believed her, there was no way I could not.

"How was thia even possible?" I asked.

"I had to use the Slicer." stated Bella, with her eyes staring at the floor.

"The what?" I asked bewildered.

I turned my head left and right. I saw something gleam on the floor l, it was less than three feet away from me towards my right side.

Bella began to explain.

"The Slicer, it's an object I created." she said.

"What exactly dose it do? Other then the obvious." I wondered.

"Well it helps me control any and every aspect of my life and powers." whispered Bella.

It seemed like she was afraid to talk about it out loud, possible for fear of someone overhearing.

"So, then why did I feel all that pain?" I asked. I'm getting really tired of asking all these questions, but I can't help but want to know more.

"Well, you know I can see the past. Well I made you feel just the pain of your past." explained Bella.

"Why?" I asked her with ludicrously in my voice.

"So you could comprehend exactly how much your past had cost you, so you know what it felt like back then." Bella explained once again.

I was consemplating for awhile, I understood pretty well.....just I was still so shaken from the pain, it was worse than my changing...or was it? I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to see my past human life.

"I know you do." stated Bella.

"You're right, so what should I expect this time?" I asked Bella.

"Well you will see many images of yourself in pretty bad shape and condition, you'll most likely be shocked. There are some great moments that I will show you more slowly, I know you'll love them." said Bella in a compassionate voice.

"Ok, what do I do?" I asked.

"Stand up," she started. I followed through with her orders.

"Stand in front of me, stay very still and finally put your face in my hands." ordered Bella.

I did each step carefully and quietly, when I put my face into her outstretched hands I frozen like a statute.

"Ready?" asked Bella.

I mentally and emotionally checked myself.

"Yes, I am." I answered with confidence leaking out of my voice.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Hey loves!!!

I am deeply sorry about my updates, I know I promised to keep on top of things but sadly I have not been able to.

I will admit that the next chapter has taken me quite a bit to write, it will be a few weeks until I can finished or even post, unless I can find extra free time.

So please hang in there with me!!

I do enjoy and love all the votes and comments I have been getting!!

It has made my heart burst and flutter with joy at reading your comments and seeing who voted!!!

I will also admit this is my first time updating for my Android, so I'm pretty sure the spelling is correct but the format might not be.

Needless to say, I will be waiting for what you all think of my story so far and I will get chapter 10 up as soon as I can!!

Enjoy loves and have a nice evening--- Lee