37. The Heart's Burden

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Anaya returned to her room with a burden in her heart

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Anaya returned to her room with a burden in her heart. She pressed her back against the wall and stared front with a blank expression. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought of Maaz's gesture. It was the first time in her life someone had done something to make her feel special and it was for the first time that someone had made efforts to ask her forgiveness. Anaya felt like a cheater, a fraud.

That night, before Maaz had come in the room, completely drunk. Anaya had been restless thinking about the slap and the repercussions. Just as she was pacing anxiously, Azlaan had called. He had been crying profusely and informed that their father was very frustrated after the function. Apparently, Sheeraz had expressed his second thoughts about the marriage. This angered him and he had been taking out his anger on their mother. Anaya's heart had sunk to the lowest. Her mother's voice quivered, and she spoke with great difficulty.

'Please, Anaya. Do something. Divorce him and marry Sheeraz. The decision of having you marry Maaz is the biggest regret of our lives.'

Anaya had been contemplating what she should do when Maaz had entered the room. He looked menacing and terrifying. Imagining her father assaulting her mother, she trembled with fear.

She had pushed Maaz and leaped from the bed, hurrying towards the showcase. The porcelain flower vase crashed into pieces. Angered by this action, Maaz climbed down the bed to attack her and she managed to push him when he tried to kiss her. Anaya watched him fall with a thud on the bed. Then there was complete silence except for her heaving breaths. Horrified, she stared at him. After some time, she checked on him and realized that he had passed out with the heavy drinking.

It's now or never – Anaya's brain urged her. She couldn't think straight; what was right and wrong. All she could hear was her mother's painful voice and imagine her battered face. Without thinking anymore, she feverishly unbuttoned Maaz's shirt, breaking a few buttons in the process. She didn't hesitate in removing his shirt and tossing it on the floor. Also, she unbuttoned his jeans and lowered them little.

With great difficulty, she carried him to the other side and then brought a piece from the broken vase and made few marks on his chest. She winced when she felt him wince.

'I am sorry.' She muttered glancing at his face. As she was about to move, she tripped and hit her face against the bed. The corner of her mouth bled, but she hadn't bothered with it. Then, she had made a cut on her inner arm and smudged the blood on the bed beside him. It wasn't enough, she felt. Hurriedly, she reached through his cupboard for some help. She stopped when she spotted a bag labeled "Rukhsar's belonging". She searched through it and fortunately found few oil paints. She found a red one and hoped this could fool him. Maaz doesn't seem like an observant person. And she was right, she successfully misled him.

Anaya had tears in her eyes as she sat on her bed reading the divorce papers. She had thought Maaz would feel bad and grant her divorce. But she hadn't contemplated that he would be so ashamed that he would feel suffocated to be—him. She thought he would be causal about it like he was for everything else. Now, getting to know his point of view Anaya felt embarrassed. She kept staring at the papers with her vision blurred. A drop of tear fell over the "Divorce" and that brought her back to the present. She sniffed and with the back of her palm, she wiped the tears on her cheeks. She wanted a divorce but not like this.

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