whatever the hell we want || bellamy blake/john murphy

Love And Escape

Elena's P.O.V.

My first instinct was to hug him, but I knew I couldn't. I wanted to tell him that I missed him and everything was alright, but it wasn't. He did so many things to hurt us.

He held my face in his hands. Before he did anything else, I lightly shoved him off of me.

"Are you crazy?!" I loudly whispered.

"Please, just hear me out! It won't take long!" He whispered loudly to me.

"How should I believe you? You tricked me into thinking you actually cared about me, but then you let Charlotte die!"

He looked hurt, which made me feel guilty inside. My heart sank down into my stomach as Murphy gently looked at me. I felt tears start to fall down my face and I ran to him. I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around my waist tightly as I put my head on his shoulder. He let out a shaky breath.

"Elena..." He started, his breath still shaky.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If Clarke hadn't said anything about Wells, you would still be at camp right now. You wouldn't have to be sneaking around. What if Bellamy caught you?" I asked, pulling myself away from him.

"That's the thing. I've been watching over you ever since I left. I saw Raven light the flares. I saw you go look for Octavia, and I saw you when you all brought Finn back to camp when he got stabbed. I saw.... you and Bellamy." He said hesitantly.

I was too stunned to speak. He saw us? He knows that I'm with Bellamy... or at least I think I am. It's never really been discussed actually.

"I've been trying to find the right time to talk to you. I heard Bellamy shout that him and Clarke were leaving, and I saw you walk out of camp. I knew I had a chance to talk to you. I just needed to hear your voice again, Elena. You're the only thing that keeps me going out here." He said, pain striking in his eyes.

My chest felt heavy. I didn't know what to say. I care about him so much, but then all of the things he did on top of that? Is it wrong that I care about him so much?

"You need to hear this. Elena, I'm in love with you."

"Murphy..." I started to say, but his words cut me off.

"I don't know if you love me, but I sure as hell love you. You make me feel.... like someone who's actually there for me. I've had a rough childhood, but when I look at you, all of the pain goes away. You're the complete opposite of me, and yet you still stand here listening to me. You're smart, nice, funny, beautiful, and you have the kindest heart I've ever seen. You can get an attitude, but you don't care as long as you're defending the people you love. The reason I wanted Charlotte out of camp was because I thought she was going to hurt you. I don't want to see you hurt, ever. I would do anything to make sure you're safe, even if I had to take a spear through my chest to do it. You change me when I'm around you, and I love you for that. I love you, Elena."

That's when he planted his lips on mine lightly. I kissed him back, but not like I wanted him. I was confused. There's Bellamy, but then there's Murphy. He grabbed the sides of my face and kissed me harder. As my back was still against the tree, my back started to hurt, but I didn't care. I placed my hands on his chest. That's when I realized what I was doing. I pulled back and he still held my face. He could tell I felt guilty. He kissed my forehead lightly and places his hands on my shoulders.

"It's ok. I understand. You don't want to hurt Bellamy."

I nodded my head. He didn't sound mad at all, which really surprised me. He backed up away from me.