One Shot (1)

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Title: You're My Motivation

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Eating disorder

**

Heather ran to the bathroom the second after she finished eating and purged for the first time in two weeks. She let out a shaky breath when she was finished and flushed the toilet. She felt somewhat relieved, but awful at the same time. I was doing so well and I had to go and ruin it! And on the worst night possible!

Tonight, Alejandro's family came to visit and they had a huge feast. Heather had gotten so nervous that she started binge eating. And then when she realized just how much she had eaten, she felt like she had to do it. Look at you. You failed yet again. Did you really think that you could get rid of this? You're nothing without it! You're only going to get fatter!

Tears gathered in her eyes and she burst out crying, scooting against the wall and holding herself in a tight little ball.

It had all started back in elementary school. Heather used to have quite a bit of weight on her. In fact, she was one of the fattest girls in her school. She had a sweet tooth and she loved food, so she ate everything all the time.

The other kids would always make fun of her, calling her names such as 'fatso,' 'Heather the hippo,' 'Hungry Heather,' and anything else they could think of. They had even pushed her around in the hallways, knowing she wouldn't do anything to stop them. She spent years crying in her bedroom alone and writing in her diary about how badly she wanted to change the way she looked. The more the kids hated on her, the more she began to hate herself.

When she started middle school, she decided it was time for a change. So she would skip a meal everyday. Then one turned into two. Soon, she couldn't even stand to eat one full meal so she just snacked throughout the day.

By the time she was in high school, Heather was a new person. She swore to herself she wouldn't be weak or vulnerable. Ever. Everyone had been so surprised when she walked into school with the perfect body. Every girl wanted to be her and every guy wanted her.

All she wanted was to show them how she could get revenge. And she did. Every single person that had ever done her wrong regretted it. They regretted it because she called them similar names, shoved them around in the hallways, stole their boyfriends, and spread rumors about them. It was fun. At least for a little while.

She thought she could be a millionaire when she auditioned for total drama. She figured that would make her even better. More desirable. More popular. And more people would love her.

But being on that show did just the opposite. She tried. She tried so hard to win in the first season. But she had never felt so degraded in her life. And she was dumb enough to do another season. And then a third one. However, the third season had changed everything.

Alejandro was the bane of her existence, but she wanted nothing more than to be with him. The only problem was, that was what every other girl on the show wanted too, and he used that to his advantage. So when he had told her that he truly loved her, she didn't know what to believe. It was easier to believe he didn't, because who could ever love someone like her?

But she was proven wrong. So wrong. Alejandro and her had been together for two years now. And he treated her like she was the only girl in the world. He was the only person she could be herself around. And he never judged her like the rest of the world seemed to. He loved all of her flaws and he was always able to cheer her up in some way.

When she told him about her disorder, which was the hardest thing to do, he didn't get mad at her. He was just so sad. But he never gave up on her. Slowly, she started eating without throwing it back up. She remembered the first time she went a whole day without purging. Alejandro gave her flowers and congratulated her at least a million times.

Then she made if for two days. Then three. Then four. Soon, she was at a week. And then two weeks. And now...

She was back to square one.

You're so weak!

How could you do this to yourself?!

She heard the door slowly open. She sat up when she saw it was Alejandro. She chewed on her bottom lip nervously as he sat down beside her. "I noticed you were eating very quickly." She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded, turning away in shame. "Hey." He gently turned her chin. "Don't think I'm mad at you, mi amor. You made it two weeks. That's amazing!" He pulled her into a warm embrace, stroking her long hair.

Heather broke down in sobs. Alejandro held her tighter. "I know it's upsetting, baby." He kissed the top of her head. "But I'm right here, ok? And that's never going to change. I love you, Heather. You're beautiful. Muy hermosa."

She laughed a little, wiping her tears with the palm of her hand. She loved when he spoke Spanish to her. "You can do this," He whispered lovingly in her ear. "You're so strong. I know you and I know you can beat this."

She smiled. "Thank you. I love you so much. You have no idea how much that helped."

He smiled back. "I'm glad I could help you, mi amor.

The very fact that he loved her was enough in itself to keep going.

To keep fighting.

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