It's A Cliche

PART FIFTEEN

Linkin Park - Heavy

Lovely the band - Broken

"Wow..."

"I know, I know. I was just wondering." I add quickly. That was stupid. It's just been on my mind so long... I had to ask him.

He smiled sadly as he started. " Um, I don't know if you'll remember the day we snuck out to 'explore'." He asked with air quotes around explore, without waiting for an answer from he continues. "It was just a few weeks after I got my license and we were feeling reckless, we decided to 'borrow'." Again with the air quotes. "One of my dad's cars for just a harmless joy ride. Explore parts of town we weren't allowed to go to... It was fun at first, the interesting things we saw for the first time. Everything felt beautiful."

This story feels so romantic. Continue! Continue!

"Not for long though. It was getting late and we crashed the car, we couldn't wait for help cause we got scared of the amount of trouble we'd be in. You know back then when I was a bit cowardly." He adds.

"A bit?" I cut in laughing.

"Hey!" He protests. "Stop interrupting."

"Sorry. Carry on, Tristan the brave." I urge.

"We decided to hitchhike back home, because we couldn't get a cab or call an Uber. There were bad weather warnings that day and we were the two dumbasses who decided to become explorers. When we couldn't get a vehicle. We had to walk back home and it was one hell of a long walk, it started raining when we almost got to my house. I didn't care though. You were there and you just made it okay. Still one of my best days ever."
He says sincerely.

"Aww, I light up your world." I cut in smugly.

"Stop ruining it. When we got home, my parents weren't around so the staff took care of us and you took a shower your hair curly, wet, beautiful and all. While I was a mess."

"We both were." I giggle remembering. It was such a fun filled day.

"We couldn't get you any clothes so you wore my hoodie and shorts after changing. Then we just sat there drinking hot cocoa and laughing. There was a moment I just stopped, just struck by everything about you. I looked at you and all I wanted to do was kiss you and you didn't notice. Then, I just knew, and ever since." He says trailing off.

"Wow, that's been almost three and a half years ago. Why did you wait." I asked shocked.

"I didn't want to put you in that position. I mean our friendship. I didn't even think of the possiblity that you'd want me too." He said turning away and my heart hurt. He looked so hurt and confused.

"Hey..." I said trying to comfort him by taking his hand in mine. "I'm here now, finally, though it took a while."

He turns to me trying to smile but I see through it.

"Yeah..." He says shaking his head.

"Yeah. Boy! You better say something else. It's not easy to get the full package." I say teasingly.

He chuckles. "Whatever."

Teenage boys, what is up with them and constantly trying to hide their feelings every minute. Tristan's always been open with me, but it just feels a bit different since the accident.

He never had to hide with me, now why do I feel like he's hiding from me. Is it because of the thing with Mr. Cooper or Caro.

Suddenly tears well up in my eyes. I don't wanna be abused. I like not being abused perfectly fine.

Just imagining the feeling of being exploited and my body violated makes me want to rip off my skin, shred by shred. Suddenly I feel suffocated, I feel like my body isn't mine anymore.

My throat feels clogged and I suddenly can't breathe. The more I gasp for air feels like the more I loose it. The more air I take in leaves me empty and I feel like I don't know how to breathe anymore.

"Shit, Aria, Aria." I hear Tristan distinct panicked cries but it seems so far off.

"Deep breaths, count to ten. Come on, you can't do it." He coaxes.

"You'll be fine." He says over and over again as he stands alert confused between trying to pull me into comfort me but also trying to give me space.

After what feels like an hour but could possibly just have been 5-10 minutes. My breathing slows down to barely normal.

"Aria, you'll be okay. I'm sorry if I freaked you out with all the love things. Please be okay." He whispers over and over again.

"I'm fine bubbah... It wasn't you." I stutter.

"Deep breaths, you don't have to talk to me. Just take care of yourself."

"No, no, I'm okay. It's just. I don't wanna be sexually abused bubbah. I know I'm not the first person and people don't choose to be. But i don't wanna. I know it's selfish." I cry.

"No, no it's not. It's not selfish." He tries to reassure me.

"It is."

"Come on, you'll be fine okay. Let's get your mind off it. Don't even think of it. Wanna make a Tik Tok?" He asks wiping my tears with his hand and kissing my face a billion times.

"Wait," He pauses. "You do know what a Tik Tok is right."

I chuckle a bit as I fake hit him on the head. He told me about everything I missed, so yeah duh I do.

"I can't not think of it Tristan, why would you even want me this way. Abused and all. I don't even want myself. I keep obsessing over it. It haunts me. I need to know the truth."

"What do you want to do then?" He asks.

" I want to go to Mr. Cooper's house. I know it's crazy." I say seeing the look he gave me. " But I can't get the truth from Caro I can't rely on her words. I have to."

His hand automatically goes to his hair. Reminding me of the nervous tick he has. "Right now? You do know what time it is?"

"Yeah now, I can't live this suspense anymore bubbah." I tell him giving him my best damsel in distress look.

I can feel his resolve rapidly crumbling as he tries one last weak attempt to stop me.

"We just stay and make a Tik Tok video?"

"No." I answer sweetly.

"Fine, let's go." He says in defeat.

As we match out the door while I'm wearing his white hoodie over my outfit, him wearing a black one. This is the best part of having a boyfriend right here. What can I say? Girls are possessive. He stops and turns to me dramatically.

"Congratulations Aria Jordan, I think you just had your first panic attack."

I'm so so so sorry for not updating. I've been having writer's block for a while and it was actually hard writing this chapter. Even though I really liked it, it ended up shorter than my usual standard.

I'm planning a big surprise in the next chapter and I promise you won't have to wait too long.

I love all my silent readers.

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