Piece by Piece

Chapter IX

It is said that there are 5 stages of healing.

1. Grief and/or denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Natalie needs to work through these stages, but she can't do it alone. Not again. Lucky for her, she's got a sexy, supportive German boyfriend at her side.

Natalie worked through these steps during and after Ryan. It was a hard, long,  process that she did alone. In fact, her depression almost killed her. She refused to get up out of bed, to eat, she couldn't sleep, it was bad. She became a smelly heap of skin and bones.

One day she just snapped, got up and took the longest shower of her life. She ate, started to do Yoga. She just decided her life was her own and she was tired of being controlled by someone she removed from her life.

Shortly after gaining her weight back, is when she began sleeping around. She always made sure they used protection, and she always got tested to be on the safe side.

Then Ludwig came and flipped her world upside down. Which leads them to now. Natalie is in denial, refusing to acknowledge what happened to her, in the past and recently. She won't talk about it. She'll change the subject or just ignore the words completely.

Right now they were laid in bed for the night, snuggled together. Natalie was pressed up against his chest, hand on his cheek as his arms were wrapped around her. They were making out, something Natalie started quite often.

Natalie sat up a bit, pressing Ludwig back as she kissed him deeper, nibbling on his lip. Ludwig gripped her night gown, letting out a groan before gently pulling away "Nat, we gotta stop" he murmured, stroking her back. She gave a pout

"Why? Did I do something wrong?" Ludwig quickly shook his head no, pecking her lips quickly. "The opposite, liebe" he glanced down to the sheet at their waist, a tent above him. Natalie blushed and bit her lip, stroking his chest "I could-" "No." His voice was firm, shaking his head "You're not ready for anything like that, babe. I'm sorry"

She pulled back with a frown "You don't know that, I'm ready! It's been long enough!" Ludwig smiled softly and took her hand, stroking it "Long enough since what?" At that, Natalie struggled with words. She didn't want to put it into words, that made it real. She huffed and looked away, grumbling "I hate you.."

Ludwig chuckled and tugged her down to him again "I know you love me, and I love you. That's why I'm doing this, schön" she frowned and rested her head on his chest, whispering "If I say it out loud it becomes... Real. I don't want to acknowledge it, Lud.."

He stroked her messy curls, humming gently to her, coaxing her to keep talking "I know, but you can't heal if you don't accept it, to accept it you must talk about it" she let out a whine, nuzzling his chest

"Tell me, how do you feel? How does he make you feel?" He murmured to her gently, holding her protectively, hoping to offer her comfort as he tried to get her to speak of something that pains her.

"Scared... Helpless" she whispered, gripping onto her lover "Lud, the things he did.." "Tell me what he did, liebe" his voice was gentle, and soothing, mixed with the stroking of her hair and close grip brought her a sense of safety as she spoke

"He.. He would force himself. With him, I never felt pleasure. I would fake to make him happy. When he found out, he was furious. That was the first time he struck me. He was smart, he never gave lingering marks. That didn't change the pain though." She sniffled softly, clutching onto him as if Ryan would come out of nowhere to drag her away.

"Each time was an empty promise not to do it again. But he did. There was always a next time. I'd come home late, strike. Raised my voice a little, strike. Outsmart him, double strike." She took a shaky breath "I think the worst experience with him was when he collected money for my body. He let god knows who into a room that he locked me in, and they could do whatever they want. He would watch, with this sick smile."

"The worst of that was when he allowed two men in. That was when I ran. I went to the emergency room and needed stitches because they forced themselves in at the same time." She let tears fall "And one thought it would be fun to experiment with anal. No lube, no stretching. I bled, Lud. I'd never felt pain like that before" she let out a sob and shook her head.

He hushed her and brought her in closer, covering her body with his own as he whispered soothing things. "That's enough for tonight, schön. You did good, you made progress" he kissed her head. There was anger in his eyes at her words though. If he ever got his hands on Ryan, he was sure he would kill him.

He held her as she cried. He felt guilty, but everything he read said she needed to talk about it. But he didn't know it would cause her to relive her pain. And she did, talking about it she could feel the ache of everything that was done to her.

She cried herself to sleep, and Ludwig held her the whole time, letting her cling to him. She held on the whole night, and eventually he fell asleep too, refusing to let go of her. They slept in a mess of limbs, through the night and straight to morning.