Alpha Without a Pack...

Chapter 78

"Maybe but maybe not. I think since I'm keeping an open mind that I should request the same from all of you, love and lust are two very different things. I mean sure you may have an infatuation or lusty feelings which make you think you love me, but like Micah and Emmett what's to say I'm any different than their other trysts in town?" I snorted softly, after all it was only natural for wolves to seek out a way to relieve some tension. "Um, actually... they haven't, well none of us have actually had any such trysts since finding out about you, including Micah and Emmett. They tried too but our wolves seem repulsed over the idea so things just don't work out if it's not... you." He muttered softly, the words were shocking but I sensed no lies from him. 

"I don't know whether I should feel mortified or flattered over the fact that I've unknowingly been playing a part in all of your little fantasies. Also kind of strange for the wolf to shy away like that, but it does certainly explain all the sexually deprived activities of you fools since I showed my furry four legs." I huffed and he immediately flushed a bright red from the tips of his ears all the way down his neck. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He rushed to deny way too quickly. 

"Just so you know, you're a horrible liar, and in case you've forgotten my nose picks up on exactly what all of you have been up to even if I don't necessarily hear or see it. It's nothing to be all embarrassed about and trust me I can relate, after all I've never been in a relationship before, plus with my heat I tend to rely on my own devices. I will say this week has been rougher on me considering all of you stinking up the place and being unable to relieve my own tension with all of you around, Micah interrupted the only go I had this entire week so I definitely relate to those frustrations." I growled out, even thinking about it hurt like crazy. "You've been holding back because of us?" He frowned slightly.

 "When have I not held back for your own safety, well besides the three days with the wolf in control." I smiled back. "Ugh and we've been inconsiderate jerks to your plight, we behaved ourselves in your presence but we forgot the scent thing." He groaned out. "Why do you think I jumped Beck so quick, he smelled too good to resist." I winced out at the memory. "We must have put you through h***." He whimpered softly. "I'll live, by tonight or early tomorrow the hormones will have relented and things will go back to normal, or as normal as can be after your little bombshell. The sooner I give Bowen this alpha title link back, the better for my own sanity." I sighed. 

"Sid things will be going back to normal for us considering we've loved you for a while, you're the one that determines if it stays that way." He whispered shyly. "That open mind I'm keeping Puppet, what if it doesn't work? What if you are able to change my mind and it doesn't work out, what then? I've tried to think of it working for your sakes but every single time it ends up in tragedy and bloodshed, I'm not willing to risk your loves over your feelings for me." I stated firmly. "It can work though, with you leading us this past week you've proven that, but even if it didn't we'll stay by your side as long as you let us. I don't know what tragedy you've been imagining but we are all willing to risk everything for you." His tone was pleading and sad but his words hurt just as much. 

I closed the distance between us and pulled a hand from my pocket to press against his cheek, he leaned into my touch automatically, a sad smile played over my lips at his actions. "That's exactly what I'm afraid of." I whispered gently his confusion was clear but I had no intention of explaining what I meant as I dropped my hand back to my side. "Now go on back inside and tell Bowen I wish to see him, it's time for him to step up and take his title back." I let some power into my tone so he would not argue, and with a silent nod he headed inside to do exactly as I instructed.