a place we know| ✓

seventy six

"And find a place where every single thing you see tells you to stay."
S E E K E R
.
.
March 27th
1:45 AM
Los Angeles
- - - - - - - - - -

Audrey could see that Gunner wasn't in the right frame of mind. While he pretended to be asleep for her sake, every now and then she'd feel him watching her. But when she opened her eyes, his would be closed tightly, giving no indication that he was conscious. It was a little trick he had been playing on her for the last two hours and she was beginning to tire of wondering what exactly was going on in that head of his.

He was restless, tossing and turning but never quite finding the right position. She was concerned about him, especially because whatever he was thinking of he didn't feel like he had someone to confide in. Gunner's tattooed back was to her. Reaching out to him, she gently shook his shoulders and called his name. "Gun, I know you're awake."

She bit down on her lip and pushed herself up on her elbow, holding the thin duvet over her naked body. "Baby, talk to me. What's going on?"

It didn't take much more than that for her husband to roll onto his side and meet her eye-to-eye. There was plenty of emotion in there, but she had a hard time deciphering what she saw. Sadness, conflict...guilt. A complex mix. Laying down on the uncomfortable mattress, Audrey breathed in steadily, feeling like the silence lasted an eternity before he relaxed and offered her a small smile.

"I've had this on my mind since I woke up in the hospital," he started, his fingers moving in a soothing caress as they weaved into her hair. "It's been bothering me."

"You can tell me and I'll listen."

Gunner stared at her like there was another meaning behind her words. "Answer me honestly."

Audrey's head moved up and down in a slow motion, eyes just as reluctant to leave his face. "I will."

"I'm a drug addict, right?"

On the outside she was immobile, but her stomach rolled in an unpleasant way. It wasn't that she wanted to deny the truth because obviously, her husband was an addict and she had made known the fact on several occasions. Then why did tonight seem different? Why couldn't she give him a simple 'yes'? Why was she having a difficult time looking him in the eye?

"Yes, Gunner, you are," Audrey replied, hesitant to speak.

"And I'm an alcoholic?"

"Yeah..."

He looked hurt by her responses yet hurried to cover it up. "I neglected you and Leah, did Ace's dirty work, and it felt good in the moment. I made money, I took drugs–cocaine, weed, Adderall, molly, heroin and...that must have been shitty for you to go through."

"It was, but we're passed that." Audrey felt crackling in the room and between themselves. "You're different now. You're better."

"Not really, Rey. I know I say I'm sober and I don't need drugs and alcohol anymore, but put them in front of me and I'll use. I won't stop myself."

Her heart sank despite how real she knew the situation was for him. She was no drug abuser so she couldn't attest to the grapple of his thoughts. It pained her to hear the truth come from him however often he evaded the conversation.