a place we know| ✓

twenty three

"And find a place where every single thing you see tells you to stay."
S E E K E R
.
.
January 1st
2:56 PM
New York
- - - - - - - - - -

"What're you up to?" Penelope stood at the door, a mug clasped in her hand and her smile possessing its natural, soothing quality.

Audrey's hand froze over the zipper of her duffel bag. She stared from the pile of neatly folded clothes on her bed to her best friend, racking her brain for a swift excuse. Penelope had done her a great favor by letting her occupy the guest room for a couple of weeks, but how exactly was she going to tell her that she wanted to go back to the old apartment? The answer wasn't going to be an easy one, precisely when evocations of what had occurred last night wouldn't let her rest.

Her only choice was to go back home to Gunner. Audrey simply wasn't feeling safe with anybody, not even her best friend of two years. She needed somebody who she could trust, who knew her like no one else, who could shelter her and ward off the humiliation.

Audrey was ashamed of herself for letting Michael violate her. It was her fault and she should have fought a little harder or screamed a little louder. Someone might have heard her.

"I'm gonna visit Gunner," Audrey said. "I have to make sure he's doing alright."

Penny sipped on her drink, its steam rising out into the air. "With your whole bag?"

Audrey's cheeks flared red like a blossoming, summer rose. She took to packing up the rest of her clothes, seeking a distraction as her friend's stare intensified. "I want to go home, Penny," she faintly confessed. "I miss it there."

"Oh, Audrey." Penelope walked inside the room and put the mug down on the dresser. Approaching the bed, her smile faltered slightly, but the gentle hug of her arms gave Audrey the space to breathe. She didn't welcome her friend's touch right away; there lingered the terror that someone was waiting to defile her for a second time. She trusted Penny, but her body wanted to remain distant.

Audrey pushed herself away first, shaking as she did so. "You're my best friend, Penny. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me, but I can't stay here forever. I have to bring my family back together."

"You shouldn't just run back to Gunner after everything he did to you." Penelope hugged her again, her arms foreign to Audrey.

"But I still love him. Even after all the shit we've been through, he's still Leah's dad and the only person who hasn't left me like everyone else. He's all I got."

"I understand, Rey," she said, expelling a soft sigh. "But I'm always here for you. You're welcome anytime."

Audrey broke their embrace and sat on the edge of the mattress. She didn't bother with a smile; it was the last thing she wanted to do. There was nothing sincere within her, her soul was being trampled on repeatedly, ensuring she were kept demoralized, without hope.

"I'll let you finish up in here," Penny picked up her mug and with a curt not, left the bedroom and closed the door.

Audrey fell back on the bed, arm reaching for phone on the bedside drawer. She opened her messages and scrolled through them, stopping to read over the countless texts she sent her brother.

The last he replied had been six years ago when she asked him to pick up some ice-cream on his way home. As trivial as it was, she wished things could go back to the way they used to be.

Pick up some Oreo ice-cream
Don't forget my frozen yogurt too

Can't you do it yourself?
I'm busy