*Play All For Us by Labrinth*
You lay sobbing on the cubicle floor, as the adrenaline simmers in you.
You've never felt fear like that before.
Your hands were shaking, pupils still dilated, as you feel your body seize up.
You felt so trapped.
You sit trying to dry your eyes, but they continued to flood out.
You hear the toilet door open again, followed by fast pace footsteps.
Your Body freezes and your heart drops.
"Charlie" you hear a frantic voice call
You wrap your head around the corner of the cubicle door to see Jaxx steaming down the aisle, checking each cubicle as he lours closer.
You glare, eyes glazed in tears, as he reaches your cubicle.
"Charlie" he continued, lowering to his knees, whilst he inspected you.
You sit in silence, not able to respond to him. Your breaths were heavy.
"Are you ok?" he questioned further, drying your eyes, and clenching his large palms around your jaw, to support your head. His blue eyes glared into mine.
You hold a stare at him before you shake your head and begin to cry heavier.
It was weird, showing a stranger this side of you. You spent the majority of your time alone before you met Ethan, you would express your emotion through painting.
Nobody knew about your home life. But now, you struggle to keep any emotion in.
"Who was he?" Jaxx questioned aggressively, his eyes sharpening.
Your head shakes as you try to remove the same question Ethan had been pleading with you moments earlier.
"Did he hurt you?" He questioned further, lifting up your arms and fiddling with your limbs to find any marks or bruises.
"No," you let out quietly, as you snatch your arms back into your control, fearful of him discovering your scars.
You already knew you had a lot of explaining to do, and couldn't bare having to tell him about your family life as well.
"I didn't even see him go in, Charlie. I would've come sooner. I only saw him when he came out." Jaxx continued, trying to get a response out of you.
You look up at him slowly before saying.
"I just want to go home."
You helped yourself to your feet, conscious of Jaxx standing helplessly in front of you. You could tell by the look on his face, he wasn't sure whether to hold you or give you space.
"Does he know you?" He continued to pry
You look at him blankly in shock
"He looked like he knew me from the way he stared at me when he left" He relayed
You felt bad for him, knowing he was trying his best... He'd only known me for a few hours, yet he was showing so much care. It makes you feel comforted, even in the situation.
You reach your hand out and clasp your grip around the tip of his thumb, innocently before gently hugging him.
You feel him wrap his arms around you, cocooning you in his embrace. You break a small smile, through your tears, whilst your forehead was buried into his warm chest.
"Come with me" you whisper, still in his embrace.
"Yeah, yeah of course, ok," he replied flustered, moving you tighter in his embrace.
You close your eyes, with your head still pressed calmly in his chest before you begin to think to yourself. This is my life. This is real life.
I never knew life would pan out this way for me, with so much heartbreak and loneliness, yet so many opportunities and blessings.
I can't seem to have good without the bad. My heart still burns when I see Ethan's face, you wish you didn't care.
Your heart feels warm with Jaxx, which is silly to say. But I guess all the heartbreak and carelessness have left you needy, maybe that's why you feel so attached to him, or maybe he is genuinely different.
You walk lifelessly, face red, towards the mall car park, where your mini was located. Your bags hanging from Jaxx's sculpted shoulder.
"Are you leaving your car here?" you ask lightly towards Jaxx, whilst entering the car park.
"I didn't bring my car, I get the train to work," he replied with your car keys in his hands.
You stand behind him, as you watch him click your keys, and follow the amber flashing lights.
You rub your eyes, as you try to gain clarity whilst Jaxx piles your bags into the trunk.
"I'm driving" He claimed whilst closing the now-packed trunk.
"No," you say innocently
"You aren't driving like this" he continued, wrapping his coat around your shoulders, before guiding you around to the passenger seat of your car.
You don't fight back against him, as you allow him to take control of your car, on the way back to your apartment.
You lay with your head back against the headrest, gaze facing out of the window. Los Angeles lights reflect in your blue-glazed eyes.
***
You've been driving for the past 10 minutes in silence, you replay Ethan in your mind.
The fear you feel towards him is unbearable. He seems psychotic.
If there's one thing I understand about people in general, it's that they never forget how someone made them feel. And no matter how desirable the good memories feel with Ethan, they'll never beat the terror and humiliation you feel because of him.
I think it would leave a bitter taste in anyone's mouth.
