Princess || KNJ✅

Part Twenty-Three

She banged on the basement door, where Namjoon's office is. With no answer, she turned to me.

Minseo: Do you know the code to the room?

Me: yeah....

Minseo: Wow. Okay.

Me: I'm-

Minseo: Save it. Unlock the door and go down there. I'll meet you in exactly thirty seconds.

Me: What am I going to say to him?

Minseo: Just go with it okay! What's the code?

Me: 0815

Minseo: *pinning in the code* ...Oh.

Me: What?

Minseo: That's...my birthday. Hurry up.

She shoved me through the door, egging me on to go down the stairs. I wiped the tears off my face, swallowed the lump in my throat, and walked down those stairs. There he was. Sitting at his desk, his feet kicked up on it,reading, without a care in the world.

His eyes looked up at me when I walked in. He smiled brightly which broke my heart more than it already was.

Namjoon: Hey Princess.

Me: hey

Namjoon: What's wrong? Are you ok?

Me: I'm fine

He stood from his spot on the desk and walked over to me, smothering me into his arms.

Namjoon: I can tell something is wrong, just tell me.

Minseo: *walking in* She made a friend today.

I pulled away from his arms and backed up to where Minseo was standing. My lower lip quivered out of my control. I couldn't compose myself to keep from crying.

Me: *shaky* I can't do this. I'm going home.

Namjoon: Nari I can explain.

Minseo: Explain what? I think Bring it On over here has a pretty smart idea of what's going on. No offense kid.

Me: *shaky* None taken, I'm out.

Namjoon: Nari, wait.

Me: No.

I took off back up the steps. Sejoo was waiting for Minseo outside, so I pushed past him to get my car.

Namjoon: NARI! NARI WAIT!

Me: just leave me alone.

He grabbed a hold of me with his big hands. At this point I was a sobbing mess. I couldn't get myself together enough to push him away.

Me: *crying* Is this why you told me to keep you a secret? Because you didn't want Minseo to find out?

Namjoon: Yes.

Me: *crying* Oh my god.

Namjoon: I can explain everything.

Me: *crying* You have a wife.

Namjoon: Nari-

Me: *crying* No, I told you and opened up to you about things that I have never told anyone. I ditched my friends on the weekend to sleep with you. Hell, you were the first and only guy I've ever been with.

Namjoon: I know.

Me: *crying* Then why didn't it cross your mind to say that you're FUCKING MARRIED? I know I was never your girlfriend, but you at the very least owed me this.

Namjoon: I promise I'll tell you everything just don't leave.

Me: *crying* No! I don't want to know everything, I know all that I need to! This...whatever this is it's over. I'm not running around being the other woman.

Namjoon: Nari, I'm begging you...please.

Me: *crying* No, you don't get to beg me for shit.

Namjoon: Please, stay and let me-

Me: *crying* I'm sorry, but no. Please just leave me alone Namjoon.

I've been through a lot of pain in my life. Outside of my dad dying, I don't think that any of that pain compared to seeing Namjoon's equally pained face in my rear view mirror.

Sihyun, Peach, and Sooji were at the apartment when I came home looking like a mess. My heart hurts beyond what I've ever felt before.

It's like I just lost a part of me. Like someone just tore out my soul and threw it in a paper shredder. I can't decide if I'm a victim or just an idiot. My hands were shaking out of control and my eyes were puffy and red.

I wish I could just go back and not sign up for that bullcrap "sponsorship" website. I should've just taken the loan from Sooji's dad. Or dropped out. I'm so broken beyond words.

I know if my dad was here, I would've already spilled my guts all over him. He'd first scold me for expressing emotions, then he would go on an hour long tangent about how men are trash as if he forgot to look in the mirror that morning.

He didn't let me date in grade school because he didn't want me to get "heartbroken and distracted" from my schoolwork. He seemed to have a knowledge of how sensitive I was before I could understand what heartbreak was.

But this...this is it. It's my fault though. I fell for the first guy to get to third base with me. I was the dumbass to get attached.

Sooji: Well you look like shit.

Me: *sniffling* Thanks.

Peach: Are you okay babe?

I shook my head with my tears fell from my eyes. I couldn't get any words out. I keep on replaying the last hour in the back of my mind, which broke my heart all over again, which made me sob all over again.

They tried all day and night to get me to explain but I couldn't. I couldn't bare to say or think his name. All of it. It was all just too much.